Together Forever - Chapter 31
Volume 2, Chapter 31: No More Past (1)
A long, deep kiss. Tong Yan had never imagined herself being so bold, doing this with him in such a public place… When they finally parted, she didn't even dare look at the reactions of those around them. Taking his hand, she led him away, head down, weaving through the tables and chairs until they were far from the crowd. Only then did she slow down.
“Back to school? Or do you want to walk around the city?” He set down her suitcase and extended the handle.
“It’s Saturday; no need to go back to school.” She spoke matter-of-factly, then pursed her lips and looked at him. “Unless… you don’t want me to go to your place?”
He chuckled. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
Saturday would be followed by Sunday.
That meant two whole days together.
She silently counted every minute, every second, feeling like it wasn't nearly enough time. If he was going back to Beijing for surgery, he would need a long recovery period, and she would be stuck in Shanghai, unable to care for him.
Lost in thought, she grabbed a mixture of Sichuan peppercorns, star anise, dried tangerine peel, and dried chilies and tossed them into the hot oil, forgetting that the oil had been heating for too long.
The oil spattered violently, and she stumbled backward, bumping into him.
Gu Pingsheng quickly covered the wok and turned on the exhaust fan.
“Why are you so distracted?” he asked softly over the crackling sound of the spices. “You’ve been spacing out since we got back from the supermarket. Is there something you want to tell me?”
His voice was gentle, with a rare hint of uncertainty.
Tong Yan turned off the heat and faced him. “I want to go back to Beijing to take care of you.”
“You still have classes,” he said, surprised, then smiled. “Tong Yan, the surgery isn’t dangerous; it just requires a longer recovery period. I’ll call you. Twice a day? Three times? Four?”
She bit her lip, his deepening smile only making her feel worse.
Avascular necrosis of the femoral head, late stage.
He had spoken those words so casually. For the first time, she realized that putting on a brave face only pushed people away, creating distance… “I can take a leave of absence this semester and resume my junior year next year,” she said, moving closer. “It won’t affect my grades; I’ll just graduate a year later. Okay?”
He didn't answer.
Tong Yan put her arms around his neck and gently, persistently kissed him, tracing the outline of his lips.
After a moment, she pulled back, making sure he could see her lips as she mouthed, “Okay?”
“No,” his voice had become serious. “If I had terminal cancer, I would definitely take you back to Beijing with me, to stay by my side. But this isn’t that serious.”
Standing so close, their body heat began to rise, almost uncontrollably, fueled by the tension of their disagreement and the unspoken emotions swirling between them.
Tong Yan frowned. “Don’t jinx yourself.”
“Don’t be so superstitious,” Gu Pingsheng wrapped his arms around her. “I’m a doctor; I don’t believe in those things.”
Her brow remained furrowed, but she didn’t say anything more.
Instead, she spent the next ten minutes doing one thing: kissing him intently. In the spice-filled kitchen, she tilted her head back, her arms around his neck, lost in the kiss.
“We shouldn’t…”
His voice was uneven, the words a reminder to himself as much as to her, spoken between kisses.
But after that single protest, he didn’t resist.
Tong Yan closed her eyes as he lifted her into his arms, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. They clung to each other, kissing deeply, unwilling to break apart.
She had stayed at his place many times but had never been inside his bedroom.
As Gu Pingsheng nudged the door open with his knee, she leaned away slightly, curiously taking in the room. “It’s so… simple.” She then realized the room was dark; he couldn’t see her speaking.
“Want me to turn on the light?” he gently brushed her cheek.
Tong Yan hesitated, then nodded.
He set her down on the bed and turned on the wall lamp. In the sudden brightness, she saw that his shirt was half-unbuttoned… and suddenly felt shy. She quickly shook her head. “Turn it off.”
He seemed to chuckle but didn’t say anything, reaching over to switch off the light.
On a winter night, even the moonlight filtering through the window was dim, but somehow, his gentle, persistent kisses made everything feel soft and warm.
In the dim light, she could see the tattoo on his arm, a large, intricate design that wasn’t frightening at all.
He held her close, his nose touching hers. Through the receding waves of pleasure, she focused on his face. In the darkness, they couldn’t speak, but in the shifting light, she could feel his gaze, never leaving her.
Tong Yan eventually drifted off to sleep in his arms, waking up in the middle of the night.
Gu Pingsheng was still holding her, leaning against the headboard, half-sitting, half-lying down. He seemed to have been awake the whole time.
She stirred, and he quickly turned on the light. “Awake?”
From this angle, he looked like he had that night in the hospital corridor, his hair almost completely covering his eyes, his entire being radiating a deep, unresolved pain. Now, though, his hair was shorter, revealing the amusement in his eyes.
“Repenting to God?” Tong Yan teased.
“I’m not religious,” Gu Pingsheng pulled her closer, kissing her forehead. “I think I told you that when we went to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve.”
She nodded, pulling back slightly so he could see her lips. “After this semester, you probably won’t be teaching anymore, right?” He nodded. “Yes, it depends on my recovery.”
“So, since last semester ended, you’re no longer my teacher.” She was satisfied with his answer.
Gu Pingsheng finally understood that she was referring to his earlier statement, “At the very least, we should wait until you're no longer my student…” He chuckled. “That’s not what I was thinking about.”
He didn't elaborate.
Tong Yan didn’t press him, instead saying casually, “I’m hungry.”
She had initially planned to make dinner. All those ingredients she had bought were still in the kitchen, while she had ended up… cooking up something else entirely…
Gu Pingsheng quickly jumped out of bed, unselfconsciously pulling on his jeans and shirt in front of her. “I’ll go get you something to eat.”
Before Tong Yan could respond, he was out the door.
Only after the door clicked shut did she burrow back under the covers, replaying the scene in her mind, her cheeks burning. Finally, she threw off the covers and exhaled.
Gu Pingsheng returned quickly. At three or four in the morning, the only place open was the nearby convenience store.
Unfortunately, the only hot food available was oden.
“Is it good?”
She nodded, pleased with the contents of her cup.
Gu Pingsheng’s cup had only two or three skewers, while hers was filled with five. Another cup, also overflowing with five skewers, sat on the nightstand, waiting for her.
“Why aren’t you eating?” she asked.
“Watching you eat,” Gu Pingsheng said, his gaze fixed on her cup. “Yours looks more appetizing.”
“I think yours looks better.”
“Which one do you want?”
Tong Yan pointed at his konjac noodles. “Why are you eating only vegetables, while you got me all the meat?”
“You’re too thin,” Gu Pingsheng said casually. “Eating more will do you good.”
Looking at his expression, she quickly understood, almost biting her tongue.
He looked at her innocently, offering her a bite of his konjac noodles. Tong Yan took a bite, then offered him a piece of her fish cake. He leaned over and took a bite.
They continued chatting about which skewers were better, finishing everything between them.
“All done?” he asked, handing her a box of tissues.
Tong Yan took one and wiped her mouth.
“I didn’t get a good look at your tattoo earlier.” Her curiosity hadn’t abated.
“It’s a tribal totem from Kenya,” he took off his shirt, revealing the intricate design on his upper body. “A year after I got sick, some university friends went to Kenya to volunteer. I was feeling down, so I went with them.” He traced the lines of the tattoo with his finger, explaining its meaning. “This part was done by a local tattoo artist. Later, I found it interesting and finished the rest under his guidance. And then there’s this name.”
The complete tattoo was finally revealed.
Tong Yan traced it with her finger. After a moment, she looked up at him. “If you didn't look so… refined, you’d resemble those gangsters from the Hong Kong dramas I used to watch as a kid.”
“Refined?” He didn’t quite understand.
Tong Yan chuckled. “Like a clean-cut, handsome man.”
Gu Pingsheng gave a soft “oh,” then, seeing her teasing expression, he pulled her close, kissing her as he began to undress her. The heat between them was almost overwhelming, radiating from their skin. Lost in the kiss, the initial fear of pain was long gone.
A long time later, he released her lips, gazing at her intently.
Her vision blurred as a rush of memories flooded her mind. That cold night many years ago, the sunlit classroom, the silent exchange in the taxi… They had first met in the late autumn of northern China. Before that, there had been so much helplessness; after that, so much unfairness. Yet, they had made it through.
His gaze was steady and warm.
Finally, she emerged from her reverie, cupped his face in her hands, and kissed him deeply.
From now on, there is no more past; I only see the future you offer.
I believe we deserve happiness.
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