R4STWH - Chapter 129
Chapter 129
He had to correct the habit of reacting regardless of time or place as soon as possible.
Elias believed that he would be able to eventually control his body.
For that long period of time, what kind of environment had he lived in? He rarely even met women, and even interacting with other people was rare.
Even in that situation, he had never felt any disappointment nor had he ever been troubled because of his unfulfilled sexual desire.
That meant that he had become so desensitized to his desires that he didn't even need to bother trying to endure or control them.
So if he regained the senses that he had back then, it would be completely possible to correct his current abnormal mental state.
“Look at this. It seems a bit cold, but it’s clear, right?”
Ilesha said with an excited voice while leading him by the hand.
Unlike the lakes that were near Tenaclad, the lake here was small.
It was located deep within the forest and surrounded by huge trees with thick leaves, it was so mysterious that he even wondered how she had managed to find it.
“Elias, why aren’t you taking off your clothes?”
Ilesha, who was throwing off her clothes quickly, looked at him with a puzzled expression.
“……I should take them off.”
Elias bit the inside of his cheek to maintain his calm.
'I mustn't waver. What kind of a time is this.'
He had been trying his best to clean up the areas today, but there were still a lot of monster hordes that were attacking cities and villages all over the continent.
In reality, his humanity, which had already been worn down to its limit, was completely indifferent to the deaths of the people who were innocent or not.
However, this world was the place where Ilesha was going to live her life, and since he wanted to give her all the things that were as beautiful and wonderful as possible, he couldn’t just leave them as they were.
And wouldn't the scenery become a mess if he did that?
Ilesha would not be pleased to see a scene filled with torn up corpses.
And if he were to consider her comrades who could do something unexpected at any given moment as well.
'The time that I can rest is at most, three or four hours.'
They would need at least that much time in order for the knights and priests to recover their exhausted mana and stamina.
Although not as much as them, even Ilesha and Elias needed to get some rest.
'I have to wash quickly, feed her, and then make Ilesha sleep.'
He, who had become used to creating and executing plans, knew better than anyone what was the best route to draw out the best results.
It was when he had barely managed to control his desires by using his cold reason to its limit that,
“Is it because the buttons on your shirt aren’t coming off easily? Shall I help you?”
His gaze, which had been focusing on the end of the lake, reflexively turned towards her.
'Ah……, damn it.'
His rational screams of ‘You can't succumb to your desires’ that had been in his head had disappeared as if someone had erased it.
That was because her naked body that was shining white in the moonlight was truly, so breathtakingly beautiful.
As soon as he saw it, he couldn't turn his head or close his eyes. He couldn't even blink because he was afraid that he might miss even a single moment.
“That’s right, my hand keeps slipping.”
Eventually, even nonsense started coming out of his mouth.
'What a terrible act…….'
“Ah, I knew it! Then I’ll help you.”
As he looked down at her, who was concentrated on taking off his shirt, the very last bit of his reason that had been blaming himself melted away.
'Just how cute and lovely can she be.'
When he came back to his senses, his hand was already stroking her hair.
As if she was feeling good, a languid expression appeared on her face.
“I’m done.”
Perhaps her hand had slipped as well, as one or two buttons were missing from his shirt.
Of course, neither of them cared about something like that.
“Shall I…… take off your pants as well?”
Since it would be problematic if the pants were to be torn unlike the shirt, he quickly took off his belt and lowered his pants.
'Right, we’re married, so it’s not a strange thing for us to bathe together.'
As he started making excuses that he didn’t even know the meaning of, Elias lifted her up in his arms and walked into the lake.
Even though he had been covered in so much monster fluids, her body that was within his arms gave off a sweet scent.
'Just focus on washing. Don't act like a newbie.'
At that moment, Ilesha dug her face into his neck and started rubbing it.
It was a habit of hers. Hugging his neck with both arms while burying her nose into his neck and sniffing him like a puppy.
It was just that action, and yet it made him feel a sense of pleasure…… and he had to clench his teeth.
Now that they had already rolled around on the ground that much, shouldn’t he have already gotten used to it?
He should have built up immunity to it and not react to it. It was so dumbfounding that he even felt aggrieved about it.
'……It seems, I was wrong. I can’t end this by just taking a bath.'
After failing repeatedly throughout his long life, he came to an objective judgment about his own body and mind.
It was a complete failure. This was a battle that he wouldn't be able to win.
“Ilesha.”
“Yes?”
When Elias called her with a low voice, Ilesha looked at him.
“It’s not something that I should be saying in a situation like this, but I think it’s impossible for me to hold back my urges.”
When he met those naive and sparkling eyes, he felt as if he was doing something extremely bad.
“It’s that, it’s just that my condition right now…….”
“Oh……, then were you really planning on only taking a bath?”
“…….”
Elias was speechless.
'Right, that’s right.'
If he considered the behavioral patterns that he had shown until he had regained his memories, Ilesha would naturally guess what he had been thinking.
He had been a man that was completely obsessed with her, to the point where he couldn't take his eyes off her, always trying to cling to her regardless of whether they were alone or in public.
Of course, from a broader perspective, the current him, who had regained all of his memories, was a madman that was so crazy about her that it would be hard to find anyone who was comparable to him in any of the dimensions.
'I didn't bring you to this world with this intention, but…….'
Even while thinking that, he doubted that he would ever be able to split his feelings into separate pieces.
Even if he wanted to remain her guardian, could he watch Ilesha build a home with another man while feeling happy?
Just imagining it made him want to tear the other guy into pieces.
Or would he have been able to permit her guardian to suddenly appear and demand her rights?
He was the only one who could truly understand and protect her.
Wasn’t that the reason why he hadn’t invited the noble couples from other countries that matched her conditions, even after having found them, to Tenaclad? It was because of his petty jealousy.
Because he didn't want to share even a bit of her time and attention with anyone else.
From the moment he had first made a contract with Neo, the intention of supporting her happiness as her temporary guardian was nothing more than a false pretense.
No, perhaps that might have been what he had thought at the time, but while he had gone through hundreds of years, that was long gone and had disappeared without a trace.
As everything had worn down and disappeared, with only her left, he had transformed into a monster that would not be satisfied unless he completely owned her, even down to each strand of hair.
It was when he had finally realized and acknowledged that when he was stroking her cheeks gently.
Why was he doing this during a time like this? Shouldn't he be using his cold rationality instead of being controlled by his desires?
Everything was just nonsense.
“Rest is…… enough if it’s just an hour, right?”
He knew Ilesha better than anyone else, so there was no way he would mistake the calculation of her capabilities.
“Yes, that’s enough.”
“Okay, then…….”
He lowered his head deeply towards her.
He whispered while his lips lingered as if they were going to touch her enticing red lips.
“I’ll wash you clean and fill you up. As much as you want.”
He wanted to give her his all, as much as the desire that was boiling in his heart.
He wanted to make all of his flesh and blood and all of the last drop of his soul be owned by Ilesha.
So this wasn't just some lewd act that the world would make a fuss about.
It was a pious act of giving his body and soul to her, the one that he had finally come to reach after so many years.
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