TGS - Chapter 28
Chapter 28: Torment
Gods do not dream. The scenes that flash through their consciousness while they sleep are inevitably real events from the past or possible futures.
Her thoughts passed through layer upon layer of watery curtains, journeying through a kaleidoscopic tunnel, leading Lotus to see the past within her memories.
The day she transmigrated seemed to be just an ordinary day.
A light rain fell from the sky, blurring the world in a watery mist. Lotus folded her umbrella, placed it in the rack, and walked slowly into the national museum with the other visitors.
In the special exhibition area for Ancient Solancia, artifacts from that era that had survived to the present were on display. They lay quietly in specially made, sealed glass cases, silently telling of the kingdom's former glory.
Solancia was separated from the modern era Lotus lived in by a full three thousand years. It was listed by historical researchers as one of the greatest ancient civilizations in human history. Unfortunately, it had long been submerged in the river of time, leaving only these fragmented artifacts for later generations to painstakingly guess at, explore, and investigate.
The Lotus in her memory had slightly curly black hair. Her appearance was eighty percent similar to the River Goddess, only a bit more approachable.
Unlike the other excited and lively tourists, Lotus was as still as a painting. She would walk and then stop before the display cases, finally coming to a halt beside a solitary one.
A mirror. A round bronze mirror with a gold-inlaid rim and a sapphire set in the center. The golden frame was carved with a snake pattern, its tongue touching the tip of its tail, encircling a surface that was still reflective after thousands of years.
As if her entire attention had been captured, Lotus unconsciously leaned forward and indeed saw her own face in the mirror.
But that wasn't right. The person in the mirror had extremely light-colored hair, wore classical attire, and had a look of desperate resolve. That wasn't her.
The next moment, the reflection inverted, heaven and earth overturned, and with a suffocating feeling like plunging headfirst into a chaotic, deep sea, Lotus lost consciousness.
This was everything that had happened before the River Goddess regained consciousness as the stone statue in the Kadera temple. Or rather, it was everything she thought had happened.
Why hadn't she noticed it before? Those memories of the modern era felt as distant as if they had happened in a past life. Lotus had attributed this feeling of separation to the illusion of transmigration, but the truth was likely that thousands of years already separated her from her past.
Had she already arrived in the Solancia of that time, at the very beginning of the establishment of its mythological system?
What kind of role could she have played to be able to awaken at this time as a deity?
Lotus didn't know, but she wanted to find out.
On the temple's dome, specks of starlight twinkled along the lines representing the river.
Every so often, a point of light would fall from above, sinking into the pool where Lotus was, where it would be crushed into fine stardust and then slowly absorbed into the goddess's body.
The entire process was slow and orderly. And at the gathering point of faith, countless more points of light flickered. To completely absorb them all would take years.
But at this moment, the goddess's fingertip twitched slightly, then returned to stillness.
The speed at which the points of faith-light fell subsequently quickened a little.
Even in her slumber, it seemed Lotus remembered she had to be quick.
Because someone was waiting for her to return.
With the sound of gurgling water, Alyuin walked out of the cave entrance to the secret training ground set in the mountain rock. Expressionless, she removed her outer clothes and leaped into the water.
After swimming across the White Yilu River that flowed through this place, the princess stood dripping on the opposite bank. With a casual wave of her hand, two golden eagles swooped down, dropping a change of clothes and a large cloth towel onto her outstretched arms.
Alyuin dried herself off, put on her outer clothes, and prepared to return to the Kadera temple.
Today was her last day in Kadera.
In a few more days, her leave would be over. The princess had to return to Digebia before then, or she would be considered in violation of military discipline.
In fact, Alyuin had originally planned to depart right after the festival. But after it ended, she couldn't help but stay, procrastinating until she could delay no longer.
For the past few days, Alyuin had spent most of her time in the sacrificial chamber. When it came to visiting the chamber, she was more diligent than the temple's two priestesses.
The people of the temple, not knowing the real reason, all praised the princess's piety toward the Goddess Lotus, remarking that it was no wonder she alone had received the goddess's favor.
On her last day, Alyuin went to the secret valley. Standing before the wide White Yilu River, she suddenly realized that this time, there was no one to carry her across.
No incarnation of the goddess, and no Miss Messenger.
Alyuin still swam across herself. The early spring river water was still icy, and she felt a little wronged.
Even if something had happened in the Kingdom of the Gods, even if the goddess was truly busy, couldn't she at least send Miss Messenger? At the very least, couldn't she respond to her, just once?
But there was nothing.
So the princess began to worry again. Could something major have really happened in the realm of the gods, so much so that Lotus was completely overwhelmed and couldn't spare even a sliver of her attention?
Thinking this, she became extremely worried, wishing she had the power to know what was happening, even if she could only help a little...
Lost in these wild thoughts, Alyuin, who should have entered openly through the main gate, found herself wandering to the back wall of the temple.
After all, she had been climbing this wall for three years. It was a matter of habit.
Alyuin came to her senses and pressed her temples, thinking it wouldn't hurt to climb the wall one more time.
She took two steps back and was just about to take a running start to leap over the wall when her ears twitched, and her expression changed instantly.
The faint sound of the wind, mixed with the rustling of clothes and a woman's panting moans, reached the princess's ears.
Alyuin certainly knew what that sound was.
She had once followed the army to attack the Sanur people who plundered Solancia's villages. When they arrived at the occupied villages, they would always see the ugliest greed. Those avaricious Sanur people plundered grain and cloth, and also plundered defenseless women, displaying their vileness without restraint.
And what Alyuin heard now was a similar sound, only without the tragic struggle, and with an added cautiousness, a fear of being discovered.
...Unforgivable.
How dare they? How could anyone dare to do such a thing in Lotus's temple?!
Shock, anger, and killing intent instantly dominated Alyuin's will. Like an agile feline, she silently vaulted over the wall, one hand on the sword at her waist, and walked toward the bushes from which the sound was coming.
She did not hide her footsteps, so the faint sounds immediately ceased. In the dead silence, the rustling of clothes being put on sounded again.
A disheveled strange woman emerged from behind the bushes. She was wearing the robes of a junior priestess and was trying hard to maintain her composure, but her face turned pale the moment she saw the princess.
Alyuin's sword was already drawn. She said coldly, "Where's the other one? Tell him to get out here."
The woman's voice trembled. "There's no one else. It's just me. I'm the only one here."
"Do I look like I have trouble hearing?" Alyuin sneered. "Now—get out."
Rage burned away her reason, casting a sinister shadow in her eyes.
The killing intent, honed for a year on the battlefield, was completely undisguised. The woman's legs nearly gave out, but she bit her lip hard and refused to speak.
The bushes were suddenly pushed aside, and another person ran out, spreading their arms to shield the junior priestess.
"It was me! I forced her to be with me!"
The familiar face made Alyuin pause. She recognized this person's face. It was a young female scribe who had once taught her, and her attitude had been quite friendly.
Two women?
Alyuin's gaze shifted between the two of them. Her expression went blank for a moment. For no reason, her throat tightened. She had a premonition that she was about to break through something, to face something, and felt a strange sense of being at a loss.
The female scribe was still talking. "I'm sorry, Your Highness. It's all my fault. I'm the one who dragged her here..."
The junior priestess rushed to say, "No, it was me. I took advantage of her youth and ignorance and seduced her. Please, punish me."
Alyuin was silent for a moment, then sheathed her sword.
"Fornication in a temple, according to the law, is punishable by expulsion, never to set foot in a temple again for all eternity." Her speech unconsciously quickened slightly. "Go find Priestess Muya and receive your punishment yourselves."
The two, having been caught, stood frozen in place.
"I thought you were going to kill—"
The junior priestess quickly covered the scribe's mouth and said hastily, "We'll go right now. Thank you for your mercy, Your Highness!"
Alyuin nodded, turned, and walked away. Her steps were elegant and proper, showing no sign of anything unusual.
It was already evening, but the princess did not return to her own courtyard. She paced around for a few circles before finally going to the sacrificial chamber.
For the past few days, Alyuin had particularly enjoyed talking to herself here, like an ordinary girl sharing her feelings with her family, having a one-sided conversation with the cold stone statue.
But this time, she looked up at the statue, unable to say a single word.
The princess had even prepared what she would say: Someone was defiling your sacred ground, and I caught them. Are you happy?
She could say it with a smile, say it coquettishly, any way would be fine. When it came to charming her way through things, the princess was a professional. But the words seemed to have taken physical form, stuck in her throat, impossible to either spit out or swallow.
She couldn't say it. So she lowered her eyes without a word, sat down at the foot of the altar with her back to the statue, and stared into space.
This year, Alyuin would turn fifteen.
It was the age of budding romance. At fifteen, girls in Solancia could begin to consider marriage, but Alyuin had never thought about it.
In the dim candlelight of the sacrificial chamber, the light from the blue chalcedony pricked the princess's eyes.
Had she truly never thought about it—or was she unwilling to?
Alyuin suddenly raised her hand and flipped the amulet over, pressing the side with the blue chalcedony bead tightly against her chest, making it disappear from her field of vision.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, but a gentle, pale, frost-blue color still danced before her eyes.
Leaning against the altar, the princess spent a sleepless night.
Early the next morning, she bid farewell to the priestess and Rhea and hurried back to the military camp alone.
When she arrived, the setting sun was casting its last rays. Motis came forward boisterously, wanting to spar with her. Lena, seeing this was not a good idea, quickly stopped him and said to Alyuin, "You must be tired from the journey, Your Highness. You don't look well. Why don't you go back to your tent and rest first?"
Alyuin did not refuse Lena's kind offer. She was indeed very tired. She went back to her tent and lay down, but sleep wouldn't come for a long time.
Lying on her own side of the bed, she couldn't help but think that Lotus used to sleep on the other side.
The princess tossed and turned, finally rolling over to the other side while hugging the blanket. With a kind of secret satisfaction and guilt, she closed her eyes and quickly fell asleep.
In the secret valley covered with green grass, the warm early summer sun shone down, creating an ineffably peaceful and beautiful scene.
"Alyu."
A familiar voice called her name from behind, tinged with a smile.
Alyuin turned around. The River Goddess was standing there, her silver hair like the surface of the White Yilu River glittering under the light, or like the ice and snow covering the river in winter. Her blue eyes held a genuine smile.
She stood there, like another source of light between heaven and earth.
The goddess opened her arms and called her name again: "Alyu."
Alyuin took half a step back, her expression a mixture of struggle and longing.
Lotus stopped moving, maintaining the posture of wanting to embrace her, as still as water trapped in a lowland marsh.
Alyuin looked at her, and she looked back at Alyuin.
After a long time, the princess suddenly raised the corners of her lips. A thin mist of water veiled her golden eyes as she said in a low voice:
"You are always tormenting me, Lotus."
Her long, slender fingers ran through the cloud-like silver hair. She said, "Please close your eyes."
Then, brooking no refusal, she raised her other hand to cover the goddess's eyes, and her rose-colored lips pressed against those pale ones.
In the end, she had kissed a god.
Dawn had not yet dispelled the night when Alyuin sat up in bed, the corners of her eyes still wet with tears.
The sky was not yet light, and no one in the camp was awake. In the dead silence, she heard her own heartbeat, like that of someone at the end of their road.
In a daze, a scene that had been sealed deep in her memories for many years surfaced in her mind.
Akhet, the luxurious royal palace. Her mother, the queen, held her when she was still young, softly singing a Solancian folk song.
Oh, love, the arrow in Adia's hand.
You bring torment, yet people still pursue you.
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