When the Black Moon Rises - Side Story 19
Side Story 19
The voice he had heard in his dream momentarily overlapped with his attempt to speak. Thus, no answer came, but Sehwa didn't press him.
She hugged his slightly chilled body closer and gently patted his cold fingertips again.
“My mother.”
“……”
“They say she became weak after giving birth to me and passed away not long after.”
“My father followed her, and hearing that woman's words brought it all back.”
“Your father followed her? Leaving you behind?”
“Yes. But it’s strange, isn’t it? I have no memory of either of them. Yet, in the dream just now, it felt like I remembered my father’s voice.”
“It was so long ago. Besides, they say I was in my beast form then, so I shouldn't remember anything. How could such a thing come to mind?”
“Were you in your beast form as a child? That thing about children with the potential to become Divine Beasts temporarily transforming into their true forms?”
“Yes. They say Ju Clan children revert to egg form, right? It’s like returning to a fetal state, so normally, nothing should remain in memory.”
“So you were scared, wondering if your father appeared in your dream to give you some kind of warning?”
“I suppose so.”
“……Earlier.”
“Earlier, during the day, you asked, didn't you? Why I was in the human realm. Even though it was wartime.”
“……”
“I couldn’t tell you because I was ashamed. That I ran away.”
Fearing his shame would be read plainly on his face, he closed his eyes instead. And he recalled the day he first thought of abandoning everything and running away.
“You must never become like the previous Clan Head. Do you understand?”
From a childhood he couldn't even remember, he had carried the expectations of the Baek Clan.
It was only natural. His mother, said to have been frail, died shortly after giving birth to him, and after that, Baek Giha’s father and the Baek Clan Head, Baek Yeonho, completely collapsed.
His deceased wife was his everything.
Thus, he abandoned the duty of the Baek Clan Head and the responsibility of being the child's only parent, taking his own life. The news of the Baek Clan Head ending his life so futilely spread quickly, and the rumors turned into ridicule.
All the enraged Baek Clan could put forward was the fact that the infant Baek Giha had transformed into his beast form and fallen asleep.
But until then, children born with unusual spiritual power who took on their true forms were not rare. It was just that the crumbling spiritual power of the Mystic Realm couldn't make such children into Divine Beasts.
Thus, the fact that he had taken his true form couldn't stop the ridicule directed at the Baek Clan.
Because of this, the elders became even more anxious. They pushed the young Baek Giha, insisting he must become a Divine Beast somehow.
Fearing he might become weak-minded like Baek Yeonho. They stayed by his side, reciting the responsibilities of the Baek Clan Head over and over.
His transformation into a Spiritual Beast was plastered with the hopes of the entire territory like mud. He wanted to become a Divine Beast, and he didn't want to.
Regardless of his choice, he soon underwent another exuviation. And after revealing he had become a Divine Beast, he was not only the head of the Baek Clan but also the head of the Six Clans.
Everyone demanded he fight against the Ju Clan in their stead. He agreed. He had been raised for that.
But the clash with the Ju Clan was even more intense than he had thought.
Many died before his eyes.
Since clans like Yeo and Jin had been reluctant to oppose the Ju Clan from the start, he had to always stand at the forefront and display overwhelming martial prowess to prevent unity from crumbling.
They wouldn't have known.
That a Divine Beast must not commit slaughter.
Not long after participating in the war, abnormalities appeared in his body.
It was when the screams of the dead still echoed in his ears.
He already knew and was prepared, but reality was more terrible than that.
Even so, what could he have done?
The war had already begun, and to reduce the sacrifices of the Six Clan members, there was no other way but to sweep away the Ju Clan warriors with overwhelming power.
So he had no choice but to kill like that every day. Until the war ended. Then he endured the nights, curled up, drenched in cold sweat.
Amidst this, Baek Giha realized a terrible fact.
He was immortal.
This pain would only intensify in the future, never fading, continuing forever.
The day he first realized that, he ran somewhere without a plan for the first time.
Ending up in the human realm was subconscious. Only after arriving there did he realize he had fled.
People passing by him quickly. People who demanded nothing from him. Only after arriving in a place where no one knew him did it feel like he could breathe.
He couldn't stay long. He had to return soon.
But if it was just for a moment… if he stayed for just a very short time.
Thus, Baek Giha confessed his pathetic past self to Sehwa.
That he needed time, however brief, where no one sought him, the Divine Beast. That he needed time, however brief, to escape the responsibility and duty that constricted his body every minute, every second.
Baek Giha added with a self-mocking smile.
“So…… pathetic, right? I know too.”
He had never once felt glad to be a Divine Beast. Except when he met this woman.
'Can someone like me be a good father to our children? I don't even know what a father is supposed to do.’
Baek Giha's eyes momentarily gazed at her face.
The slightly sharp corners of her eyes always curved downwards gently when looking at him. Trembling lips gently touched the corners of her eyes.
'Could I live if I lost this woman?'
“You and I are no longer immortal. It’s something I shouldn’t say, but… what if. What if.”
“……”
What if something happens to you? My reality is so shabby and insignificant. I lived vowing not to become like my father.
But I would surely make the same choice. Then what should I do?
In my worthless life, only you keep me alive. If you are no longer here. If, by any chance, such a thing happens.
His mouth felt dry.
Seeing his bloodless complexion, Sehwa leaned her head on his trembling shoulder.
She didn't say things like 'be careful what you say, words might bring the future,' or 'don't worry about unlikely possibilities beforehand.'
Holding his hand tightly, she said nonchalantly.
“Then follow me. I don’t think I can live without you either.”
Baek Giha understood her calm voice a step too late.
“……Huh?”
“You grew up well without parents, didn't you? Around you, there was no one to act as a parent, only those who acted as teachers. That's why it must have been harder for you.”
“Our child won't be like that. There are my parents, my older brothers, and the three sisters.”
“You told me, didn't you? To do whatever I want. I'll tell you the same thing. Do whatever you want. Don't look back at anything.”
As if he hadn't expected her to say this, Baek Giha blinked for a moment.
“……Don't look back at our child either? The position of Clan Head is one thing, but even our child?”
“You grew up alone too. My parents were on the battlefield, so I also grew up mostly alone. The sisters will give their whole hearts to our child, and Father and Mother will treat their grandchild well. There are also two reliable uncles.”
“The role of a teacher will be helped by the Chancellor and various Clan Heads. Then what's the problem?”
“Th-there are no parents.”
“……So what?”
“Is it okay to leave them like that?”
She had never seen him ask with such an anxious voice before.
Nodding that it was alright, she looked into his eyes and said.
“You’ve suffered a lot.”
“Now you too live as you wish.”
At those words, he looked lost instead. With a face showing raw bewilderment, he swallowed his words for a moment. Soon, he slowly leaned his head against her body.
Baek Giha's gaze stared blankly somewhere in the air. He had no memory of Baek Yeonho at all.
"I'm sorry. I hope the day never comes when you understand."
But how did that voice come to mind? It's strange. The voice of a father whose face he couldn't even remember shouldn't come to mind.
This anxiety resonated with the emotion he had experienced after being forcibly separated from her while existing as a single Divine Beast in the light. Having already shown such an unsightly appearance back then, he didn't want to do it again.
Before becoming even more embarrassed, he 일단 shut his mouth and tried hard to suppress the various thoughts trying to surface.
She continued to pat his hand throughout. More than saying it's okay. More than answering it won't happen. That quiet movement reassured him. His heartbeat slowly, slowly calmed down.
There was still plenty of time before the sun rose high. The room was warm, and the arm holding him was warmer. Her breath brushing against his cheek was sweet.
When he opened his eyes, he saw her pouring affection onto him.
The long dawn light flew through the open window and lingered on her cheek. He raised his hand and caressed her reddened earlobe. Then he lowered his hand slightly, savoring the pulse felt from her flowing, beautiful neckline for a moment.
“I’m glad.”
“About what?”
“That I’m a Divine Beast.”
“The tooth obtained when becoming a Divine Beast is gone, but if I pull out my heart, I think I can save you one more time if, by any chance, something happens.”
“……”
“I really hated being a Divine Beast. Meeting you again, saving you. I’m truly glad.”
“……”
“Truly glad.”
His body, murmuring such things, slowly lost strength.
“……That’s why I liked you.”
The voice, encroached upon by drowsiness, whispered after a long pause.
“……I was doing things unwillingly, forced. But you, even though you were dragged here forcibly, were always dignified.”
“……Even with such a small and slender body, you didn't back down from what needed to be done, endured. Persisted. And won in the process. That was cool.”
“……So I couldn't help but keep looking at you. So bright and dazzling. Yet I was still drawn. I couldn't help but look.”
“……Constantly. I could only see you.”
His voice trailed off. When she looked back, he had fallen quietly asleep.
Watching him fall into slumber, unaware, Sehwa gently caressed his forehead, where the cold sweat hadn't fully dried.
What anxieties he held. What he feared.
She couldn't understand all of it as if it were her own.
And she didn't know who would be first.
For them, who had used up their second wish, the day would come, as he feared, when they would leave this world.
But I hope I never leave before you.
I want to hold you like this when you go first, kiss you. I want you, who must have been weary, to rest comfortably in my arms like this in the moment you close your eyes.
In that room, where even the moonlight couldn't seep in, Sehwa wished for that more than anything.
Entwined with his warm breath. Covered by the darkness that settled over them like snow.
She prayed earnestly for that one thing throughout the night.
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