Mr. Lizard Outside the Window - Chapter 19
Chapter 19: Don't Look, Don't Look at Me
Banxia wanted to call out to Ling Dong, but he didn't give her the chance. The white hem of his stage costume flickered at the backstage entrance before disappearing into the darkness.
Banxia, still on stage, waited for the results of the competition.
As she walked back to the audience seats, she instinctively patted her coat pocket, searching for her little companion.
Xiao Lian was gone.
She frantically searched her pockets, but he was nowhere to be found.
Suddenly, she was surrounded by people—classmates, professors, friends—congratulating her enthusiastically.
The results were out. She had won and would be representing the school in the Collegiate Cup.
Banxia felt like she was split in two. Outwardly, she smiled and responded to the congratulations and well wishes. Inwardly, her mind raced, her eyes scanning the floor beneath the forest of legs around her.
So many shoes…
What if someone accidentally steps on him? The thought was terrifying.
This isn't like at home.
Xiao Lian, where are you?
Ling Dong, hurrying towards the dressing room, was constantly stopped by people.
"Senior Ling Dong? Long time no see!"
"Senior, I heard you went abroad. What brings you back to school?"
"Ling Dong, aren't you on leave? Where have you been?"
"Senior, are you alright? You look a bit pale."
"…"
Familiar and unfamiliar faces swam before his eyes.
Ling Dong brushed past them, his steps slightly unsteady, and rushed into the dressing room, slamming the door shut.
"What's with him? So arrogant! He didn't even acknowledge us."
"He's always like that, cold and aloof."
The people outside the door grumbled.
A short while later, a student from the drama club entered the dressing room to collect some props.
In the empty room, a set of clothes lay scattered on the floor. A white shirt, neatly buttoned, lay on top of a crumpled pair of black trousers.
"Who left their clothes like this?" the student muttered, picking them up carefully and hanging them on a rack.
He didn't notice that the window was slightly ajar, a black tail flickering in the gap before disappearing.
Xiao Lian scurried down the hallway outside the concert hall.
He could feel his emotions spiraling out of control. His skin felt hot and cold, his monster blood surging through his veins, a wild energy threatening to break free.
Calm down, he told himself, stopping in the shadow of a pillar, taking deep breaths.
Yes, that's it. I can control this.
I just need to get back to her.
The doors of the concert hall opened, and a wave of people poured out, their shoes echoing on the floor.
Dangerous high heels, hard-soled leather shoes, fast-moving sneakers… they descended like a stampede, raising dust, narrowly missing Xiao Lian. He had never imagined that the familiar campus could be more dangerous than a wild jungle.
He kept to the shadows, avoiding the crowds, carefully making his way towards the entrance.
Suddenly, a giant hand swooped down, and he felt a sharp tug on his tail. The world spun as he was lifted into the air.
"Haha! Look what I caught!" a male student exclaimed.
He held up the struggling black gecko for his friends to see. "Look! A lizard! Right here on campus!"
A camera flash went off. "Let me look this up. It's not a lizard. It's a gecko. A pure black one. They're quite expensive online."
The gecko, dangling upside down, struggled frantically for a moment, then suddenly went still, as if giving up.
"It's quite docile, actually."
"I heard geckos' tails can regenerate, like lizards'."
"Should we cut it off and see if it grows back? Haha!"
The boys laughed, their words casual and cruel.
"Ow! It bit me!" the student holding the gecko yelled, dropping it in surprise.
Xiao Lian hit the ground, rolled, and scrambled to his feet, darting away.
He ran as fast as his little legs could carry him, weaving between the giant feet, eliciting cries of surprise and disgust.
"Eww, what was that?"
"Was that a lizard?"
"So creepy! It scared me!"
The tiny gecko darted through the crowd, followed by a group of shouting boys.
"Catch it! Don't let it get away!"
"It dared to bite me! I'm going to catch it and make jerky out of it!"
"Don't step on it! It's worth money!"
Amidst the shouting, Xiao Lian slipped between the legs, down the steps, and through a gap in a drain cover, disappearing into the muddy darkness below.
A stick poked into the drain, narrowly missing him.
He scrambled through the foul-smelling mud and stagnant water, running for his life.
He ran and ran, until the angry shouts faded away.
Covered in mud, he crawled through the dark, wet pipe. Other creatures, like him, emerged from the muck, their antennae twitching as they sized him up before scurrying away.
He crawled on and on, until a faint light appeared above him – another exit. Exhausted, he squeezed through the opening and collapsed under a clump of bamboo, hidden among the dry leaves.
He felt terrible. Light and darkness swirled before his eyes, strange voices screamed in his head, his blood pounded in his veins, his joints ached.
It reminded him of the time when he had first transformed, when he couldn't control his body.
Night had fallen, and a sudden wave of disorientation had washed over him. He had writhed on the floor, shifting between human and monster form, the pain unbearable.
The door had burst open, the harsh light flooding the dark room, his mother's screams and the housekeeper's panicked cries echoing through the villa.
He had desperately pulled the sheets and blankets over himself, trying to hide his monstrous form, his ugly tail and scales, trying to disappear.
But the screams had continued.
"Monster!"
"Demon!"
"He's terrifying!"
"Oh god, I can't stand it! I'm never going back into that room!"
The noise had gone on and on, echoing endlessly outside his door.
No one knew what it was like to be that monster, hiding under the sheets.
No one in this world could accept such a disgusting, terrifying creature.
The concert hall was almost empty. Banxia bent down, searching under the rows of seats.
"Just give up, Banxia," Pan Xuemei hesitated, then swallowed the words she had been about to say.
It was just a lizard. It was gone.
She had rarely seen Banxia look so lost.
Even during the most difficult times, when she had barely enough money for food or tuition, she had always remained resilient, never showing such vulnerability.
They were finally ushered out of the concert hall by a staff member who was closing up.
Banxia stood outside the closed doors for a moment, then pulled a handful of gold foil-wrapped chocolate balls from her bag.
She pressed them all into Pan Xuemei's hand, keeping only one for herself.
"You go ahead, Xuemei. I'll just look around a bit more."
"Huh?" Pan Xuemei tried to give them back. Knowing Banxia's financial struggles, she rarely bought such expensive snacks.
"You eat them. I'll get more," Banxia insisted, forcing a smile. "I'll have plenty more soon."
Seeing her smile, Pan Xuemei felt reassured. She took out an umbrella from her bag and handed it to Banxia. "Go home soon, okay? The weather looks like it's about to rain. And the campus gates will be closing soon."
After lights out, the bustling campus fell silent.
Avoiding the security patrols, Banxia searched the area around the concert hall again and again, finally collapsing onto a bench near a bamboo grove in a corner of the campus.
There was no moon tonight. The clouds were dark and heavy, threatening rain.
The bamboo leaves rustled in the wind.
The campus was far from her apartment. If Xiao Lian was lost here, with his tiny legs, he would never be able to make it back.
Banxia peeled the foil off the last chocolate ball and popped it into her mouth. The bittersweet taste spread across her tongue, leaving her feeling even hungrier.
Tonight, she had won the selection competition. She would be representing the school in the National Collegiate Cup.
Her professors and classmates had finally recognized her talent and hard work. It was something to celebrate, something to share.
She took out her phone, her finger scrolling through her contacts.
She realized she had no one to tell.
Her grandmother would be asleep by now, and she didn't care about music anyway.
Her uncle's family… forget it.
And Xiao Lian, the only one she could share her joy with, was gone.
A drop of water landed on her phone screen. Banxia blinked, touching her face. She wasn't crying. She looked up. It was starting to rain.
She had learned early on that crying solved nothing.
Growing up in her mother's village, a single mother raising a daughter alone, she had endured endless gossip and whispers.
The chubby boy, standing on a tree stump, waving a book of traditional Chinese medicine, had taunted her, "Banxia is a poisonous herb! You don't have a dad, and your mom probably hates you, which is why she gave you that name!"
Banxia, without a word, had picked up a clod of dirt and thrown it at him, knocking him and his book off the stump.
Her cousin, Huhu, had said, "Everything at Grandma's house belongs to my dad, and my dad's things are mine! Grandma is using my money to pay for your music lessons! She's stealing from me!"
Banxia had promptly pounced on him and given him a beating.
Her aunt had dragged a crying Huhu to her mother to complain, and Banxia had been punished, made to stand outside for hours.
But every time she was punished, she would wait for Huhu on his way home from school and beat him up again.
Eventually, people learned to leave her alone.
She had become like a wild weed, resilient and solitary, thriving in neglect.
Her mother's words on stage echoed in her mind: You're on your own now.
Suddenly, Banxia realized she didn't want to be alone.
Even if no one loved her, she longed for someone to need her, even if that someone was a lizard who had crawled in through her window.
The rain intensified, the drops pelting her skin.
Banxia opened the umbrella Pan Xuemei had given her and stood up.
Just as she was about to leave, she heard a faint moan.
The sound was pained and muffled, hoarse and strange.
But Banxia's eyes lit up. It was Xiao Lian's voice. She couldn't mistake it.
She parted the bamboo stalks and hurried into the grove, the leaves swirling around her feet.
A pale figure lay among the bamboo, partially covered by fallen leaves. A mud-caked ankle poked out, the pale skin still showing traces of dark scales.
"Xiao Lian?" Banxia whispered.
The figure in the bamboo grove frantically covered its face with its hands. "Don't come any closer," it pleaded, its voice trembling with pain. "Don't look… don't look at me."
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