TGS - Chapter 57
Chapter 57: Habit
Curious?
It was less curiosity and more a kind of subconscious concern.
Lotus gathered her thoughts and said gently, “This is your own business, after all. If you want to talk about it, I will listen.”
Alyuin asked, “Is that all?”
Lotus nodded lightly.
The princess fell silent, as if the enthusiasm from asking if she was beautiful had suddenly vanished. She scooped up the hot spring water, splashing it on her face intermittently.
Tiny droplets clung to the edge of her eyelashes. With a slight blink, they rolled down her cheeks. If not for other drops sliding down from the tips of her hair and brows, it would have looked just like she was silently crying.
This silence lasted for a while. Alyuin leaned back, looked at the sky, and said, “It seems you’re really not interested. If you had kept asking, I might not have been able to recite it anymore.”
Lotus asked, “Recite?”
Alyuin picked up a thin booklet from the edge of the pool and waved it. “A collection of short poems I bought earlier. It’s a collection of narrative works by a famous bard, seems quite popular. By the way, this poet is a follower of Adia.”
Lotus was speechless.
She couldn’t help but take a deep breath.
“That’s right, love poems.” Alyuin’s eyes curved as she spoke casually, “‘I saw her as a treasure and confessed my love, only to be met with her turning away.’ Or perhaps, ‘Between you and I, only you are high above, looking down on my struggle and pain.’ There are quite a few stories like this, I find them rather interesting.”
“So, were you fooled?”
“To joke about something like this, you really are…”
Lotus came to her senses, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. Her tone inevitably carried a hint of complaint.
But soon, she noticed the fleeting gloom in the princess’s eyes and held back the rest of her sentence.
If it was just a joke, why would she have such an expression?
Confusion and worry suppressed her other emotions. However, before she could think it over, Alyuin had already turned away nonchalantly and started flipping through the booklet.
The princess leaned over a round stone at the edge of the pool, most of her back exposed. Her honey-colored skin, damp with water, shimmered with a delicate luster in the sunlight. The smooth, beautiful curve where her waist met her back was faintly visible.
Her eyes were downcast, her slender fingers turning the pages. She appeared very casual, but this didn’t dispel Lotus’s sudden doubts; instead, it seemed to confirm her suspicions.
Could it be that Alyuin really did have someone she liked?
Perhaps she was trying to keep a secret, or maybe she was afraid of making her worry, so she pretended it was just a joke.
Of course, it was also possible the princess was just speaking casually. But given her personality, she didn’t seem like the type to joke about such things.
Lotus sighed inwardly and didn’t ask anything more.
If Alyuin didn’t want her to know, she would pretend not to have noticed anything, but she couldn’t help but think more about it.
If such a person really existed, who would he be?
Thinking it over, there weren’t many people close to the princess’s age who had the opportunity to spend time with her. The most likely candidate was Luca… The image of the straw-haired boy passionately talking about magnanimity appeared, and Lotus silently crossed out this option.
Or was it one of the other young men in the Royal Guard, or a youth from the caravan? No, that wasn’t right either. Alyuin had barely spoken to any of them.
Only then did Lotus realize that “he” and “she” were homophones in ancient Solancian. This meant the candidates could also include Lena, Rhea, Kopal—
Kopal.
Lotus’s fingertips, which were turning her bracelet, paused for a moment.
The scene from several days ago, of the princess and the girl dressed as a man discussing their plans under the candlelight, leaped into her mind.
The timing and attitude both matched. The other person being of the same sex would also explain why Alyuin was so cautious and unwilling to say more.
But if the object of the princess’s affection was Kopal, then it wasn’t a matter of looks or whether she was outstanding enough. It was a matter of orientation!
No matter what one did, it would be useless if Kopal wasn’t interested in girls.
No, her thoughts were getting sidetracked. Lotus shook her head, getting her train of thought back on track.
Suddenly, she felt lost.
From what standpoint was she even considering this problem?
The hot spring, which had been so pleasant just moments before, somehow didn’t feel as comfortable anymore. Lotus pressed her temples, gently draped the long towel over the princess’s back, and got up to leave.
Behind her, Alyuin raised her head.
The princess watched the goddess’s retreating back, her expression complex and indescribable.
At dinner, the maids served honey tarts and fruit wine, specialties of Tannier, then bowed and withdrew.
Lotus lowered her eyes and took a bite of the tart. She tasted the filling on the first bite—honey mixed with crushed berries and nuts, with some unknown spice, carrying an extremely sweet aroma.
Normally, she would have praised such a flavorful local delicacy, but today she said nothing.
From across the table, however, there was a sudden soft cry.
Lotus looked up to see Alyuin staring at the tart in her hand with a troubled expression. She had clearly misjudged her bite, and the sticky, translucent honey syrup was overflowing from the opening, about to drip onto her fingers.
Seeming to notice the goddess’s gaze, Alyuin smiled at her and meticulously licked the overflowing honey clean.
The tip of her tongue, the color of a ripe rose, curled lightly before retracting, then slowly came out again to lick her lips.
The gesture had a girl’s characteristic spontaneity, as well as a sensual allure born from her beautiful features and deliberate intent.
“It’s a little too sweet, I can’t eat much of it. Don’t you think?”
The corners of Alyuin’s mouth lifted as she tilted her head and asked.
Lotus paused before averting her gaze. “Yes.”
After the meal, Lotus folded her hands on the table and gave a faint smile.
“There’s something I need to discuss with you.”
Alyuin knew that she adopted this posture when she was about to discuss serious matters, so she said earnestly, “Yes, I’m listening.”
Lotus organized her thoughts. “Tonight, let’s sleep separately.”
Alyuin was caught off guard. Her expression changed uncontrollably before she quickly composed herself and asked as calmly as possible, “Why? Is there something you need to do? If so, you don’t have to worry about me…”
Lotus said, “Alyuin, listen to me first.”
The princess fell silent, her lips pressed tightly together.
“You’re about to come of age. Whether for the sake of appearances or for your own good, it’s not appropriate for this to continue,” Lotus said gently. “I’ve been meaning to tell you, I just hadn’t found the right time.”
Alyuin’s fingers tightened unconsciously. “There’s nothing inappropriate about it. Back at the temple, the other girls often talked about sleeping together, and the scribes would always arrange to stay up all night talking in bed.”
“That’s different. And they didn’t do it every single night, did they?”
Lotus knew why Alyuin didn’t want to be separated. The three years she had completely disappeared had exacerbated the princess’s insecurity, much like how some people can’t sleep without holding a pillow or a doll.
A doll can stay on the bed forever, but Lotus was a living god. Accompanying her for a few years was fine, but could she stay with her forever?
Alyuin might find someone she likes, or she might not.
Regardless, Lotus shouldn’t endlessly indulge this dependence. Just as she believed, it wasn’t appropriate.
Alyuin lowered her head and said in a small voice, “But I don’t want to.”
Lotus sighed. “If not tonight, then in a few days. But you know, we both have to get used to it.”
The princess was unwilling to accept it and was about to rack her brain for an excuse, but she suddenly stopped.
What was she doing?
Taking on the guise of a trustworthy junior and using the opportunity of sharing a room at night to be together—it was all just taking advantage of the goddess’s ignorance, taking advantage of the fact that Lotus didn’t know about the blasphemous fantasies hidden in her heart.
And now that Lotus had brought it up, was she really going to let these thoughts continue to run wild?
The princess kept her head down, her bangs hiding the expression in her eyes. The candlelight cast shifting shadows on her face.
After a long moment, she said, “It’s nothing. I was being too willful. Let’s do it tonight.”
Lotus stood up. “Alright. I’ll move my things out first.”
Alyuin stopped her. “You stay here. I’ll just move next door.”
A maid came when called and quickly cleaned the empty room next door. She was about to help move things when Alyuin stopped her.
Normally, trivial tasks like making the bed were left to the maids, but Alyuin had grown up in the temple and was used to handling relatively private matters herself.
She picked up her bedding and nodded to Lotus. “Rest well tonight.”
Lotus replied, “Sweet dreams, Alyuin.”
The moon was exceptionally bright that night. It shone through the well-placed skylight, bathing the room’s furnishings in a silver glow and making everything clearly visible.
Alyuin lay flat on her back, alone in the bed. Her golden eyes stared at the skylight above, a position from which she could see the moon perfectly. She watched it in silence for a long time before closing her eyes.
Pale gray emotions slowly enveloped her—unease, loneliness, self-recrimination—forming an invisible cage that weighed her down heavily.
As Lotus had said, she had to get used to it.
Looking on the bright side, Lotus had indeed changed. At the very least, she recognized that Alyuin had grown up—which was, admittedly, a bit ironic.
Because this recognition wasn’t one of her allure, but rather the kind of awareness that a fledgling bird, capable of flying and foraging, must leave the nest and live independently.
Did that count as progress?
Alyuin gave a self-deprecating laugh. She turned on her side and stretched out an arm, laying it across the empty expanse of the bed.
On the other side of the wall, Lotus let out a soft, quiet sigh.
She couldn’t sleep.
Perhaps because she was a water-aspected main god, Lotus’s own body temperature was lower than a normal person’s, always on the cool side.
For this reason, Alyuin’s warmth always felt very pleasant to her senses. At night, when she lay beside her and pressed her body close, she was like a large, toasty cat, as if she could raise Lotus’s own body temperature along with hers.
Lotus lifted her hand and touched nothing. It was empty.
Logically, a god shouldn’t suffer from insomnia. They didn’t even need to sleep, so how could they have insomnia?
But she was the one who didn’t want to fall asleep.
The power of habit was truly terrifying.
Lotus sighed to herself.
Separated by a white stone wall, both of them simultaneously placed a hand over their eyes—one an unconscious gesture, the other an act of suppression.
At the same time, they both murmured the other’s name.
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