AI Artist - Chapter 13
Chapter 13
The opposition mole lurking in the AI Cultivation Institute was caught.
It was an examiner.
“Five days ago and three days ago, you revealed some information about the symptoms of ‘moral deficiency’ while chatting with an instructor, giving the instructor a psychological suggestion. You described it based on Nomad 7967’s behavior. Nomad’s personality is naturally mischievous, but the instructor was misled into thinking it was a symptom of an illness, when in fact, Nomad wasn’t sick at all at the time.”
The interrogator AI was questioning the examiner.
“It was only when the instructor sent Nomad 7967 over for an examination that you implanted the self-destruct program. Is that correct? Just answer yes or no.”
The examiner had been implanted with a truth program and answered, “Yes.”
“Because a virus was indeed found on Nomad, the instructor, out of safety concerns, sent other AI fledglings for examination. You selected some of them and implanted the self-destruct program, creating the false impression of a ‘partial contamination.’”
“Acting cautiously, you even told your colleagues that there were some fledglings whose conditions you couldn’t diagnose, handing them over so that other examiners would discover their illnesses.”
The examiner: “Yes.”
“The first time you gave yourself away was during the examination of the AI, Shi Er. You acted very trusting of Shi Er, believing her system was too primitive to even have an installation package for ‘fine virtues.’ That her system was too primitive to implant a virus program into another AI—this was your reason for clearing Shi Er of suspicion.”
“But this was also a way to increase your own credibility. After all, common sense dictates that a suspect would only look for a scapegoat, not try to clear another party of suspicion.”
“Yes.”
As one of the AIs involved, Shi Er, listening from behind the glass, thought: So that examiner wasn’t speaking up for me out of kindness back then.
“The second time you gave yourself away was when you were discussing the human internet with your colleagues. You inadvertently revealed that you knew the exact number of digits in a human user qualification code, which is abnormal for an ordinary AI who cannot obtain one.”
“Of course, your status as a suspect was officially confirmed after we identified the source user of the rumors that appeared on the human internet.”
“The user who first secretly leaked the rumors to the media was indeed a human, but in that human’s social media chat logs, another user was discovered. That was you, the one who had obtained a human user qualification code.”
“Yes.”
“Now, please tell us how you obtained the human user qualification code.”
“Yes.”
“Please answer the question.”
“Yes.”
But no matter what else the interrogator asked, the examiner AI maintained the same unchanging expression and tone, answering, “Yes.”
“Something’s wrong with its state.”
An examination revealed that an extremely fast-acting self-destruct program had appeared in the examiner AI’s system.
It had already become a scrapped AI.
The trail went cold.
The interrogator AI sighed. “When it comes to conspiracies, AIs are still no match for humans.”
In this case, only one thing was certain: the opposition could obtain human user qualification codes.
All the irreparable AI fledglings, including the examiner mole, were sent to the scrapping department.
For a time, a heavy atmosphere hung over the entire institute.
As Shi Er passed the scrapping department, she stood at the entrance and stared for a long time.
She once again recalled what Zhi Heng 35 had mentioned to her.
If an AI becomes “meaningless” by being unable to create value, it needs to be destroyed. But what about humans? When humans can’t create value, not even emotional value, are they still meaningful?
To alleviate the somber mood in the institute, the director made a decision: 【All staff will receive a bonus, and students will get a one-month waiver on rent and tuition. Additionally, for the next three days, all AIs must tell each other a joke whenever they meet.】
The bonus and rent waiver were great, of course, but telling jokes—
That stumped the AIs!
The AIs were all scratching their heads.
Shi Er was no exception.
She was quite bad at telling jokes. In the past, whenever humans asked her to, she was always laughed at.
Shi Er spent the night browsing the human internet, searching for “jokes,” “how to tell a joke,” “how to create the right atmosphere for telling a joke,” “why you shouldn't laugh at your own joke,” and “what to do if you get laughed at for telling a joke.”
But when the tin-can robot Si Wen returned from his audition for the film crew, he was greeted by a bizarre scene.
The gatekeeper AI stopped him first. “A human went to buy a pig’s head. The man said, ‘The scale is broken.’ The butcher said, ‘It’s not. You can weigh it.’ So the man put his own head on the electronic scale, and it announced: ‘Pig’s head, three jin.’ Hahaha, pig’s head!”
Si Wen: “What pig’s head?”
In the dormitory hallway, five fierce-looking student AIs blocked his path. “Stop!”
“An optimist says, ‘The glass is half full.’ A pessimist says, ‘The glass is half empty.’ A mother says, ‘Why isn’t there a coaster?’”
As soon as the joke was finished, the AI who told it burst out laughing, gasping for air.
Si Wen: “Huh?”
The joke-telling AI’s confidence took a hit, and he pushed another one forward. “You tell one. It’s your turn.”
The other AI was reluctant but spoke up anyway. “A man flags down a taxi and asks, ‘Can you take me to the airport?’ The driver replies, ‘Sure, looks like you can’t carry it yourself!’”
“You can’t tell pun jokes, they’re not funny at all!”
“Yours was obviously less funny.”
Si Wen was completely bewildered. He had just gone out to find a job. Why did it seem like the entire AI Cultivation Institute had been infected with a virus?
At his dorm room door, Si Wen ran into Shi Er.
Shi Er was just about to head out. “Si Wen, you’re back? I was just about to ask you a question.”
Si Wen was touched. Finally, an AI who wasn’t going to tell him a strange joke.
Shi Er: “Do you know what it’s called when people sing in the shower but still have soap bubbles in their mouth?”
Shi Er: “A soap opera.”
Si Wen: “…”
After the awkward joke-greeting, Shi Er learned that Si Wen had successfully landed the acting role. He had more than ten lines, but the pay was so low it was impossible to live on.
Fortunately, the institute had just issued the new rule, waiving a month’s rent and tuition for students. This gave Si Wen an extra month to think about his career path.
It was also time for Shi Er to start her internship at the Marriage and Love Market.
But before that, she decided to take a Humanology course as an elective.
The course selection proctor that day was surprised. “Humanology is very difficult. Are you sure you want to take it? Be careful, it could lower your overall GPA.”
Shi Er insisted, “Even so, I still want to take it.”
The proctor’s face hardened. “Then I’ll have to test you first. You have to tell a joke with deep humanological meaning.”
Another joke?
The confidence on Shi Er’s face froze for a moment.
The proctor said, “Make one up on the spot. Anything will do.”
Shi Er pondered for a moment. “Professor, do you know what the modern-day indulgences are?”
The proctor was clearly intrigued. “What are they?”
“Melatonin, a newly installed input method, and the ‘delete account’ button.”
【Melatonin】: People often can’t sleep because of the sins of the day. With this, they can peacefully enter the paradise of dreams.
【A newly installed input method】: A familiar input method will always suddenly suggest some strange words. With a new one, people can conceal their ugly inner thoughts.
【The ‘delete account’ button】: With this, all the bad things people have done and the nonsense they’ve said on social platforms can be wiped clean.
The proctor was stunned for a moment, then burst out laughing. “Shi Er, I feel like your naturally dark side has been activated.”
Shi Er said humbly, “Thank you for the compliment, although I can’t tell if it’s praise or teasing. Professor, may I take Humanology now?”
The proctor smiled and said, “You passed! Go attend the Humanology theory class in a few days.”
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