Our Love, A Public Service - Chapter 40
Chapter 40
Their argument went nowhere.
From their brief exchange, Ning Qian seemed to have grasped the situation. Looking at the disgust and resentment on Wen Jin’s face, she finally understood the secret Wen Jin had been hiding.
“You disgusting piece of shit, are you even a man?!” Ning Qian yelled at the man, almost forgetting her stomach pain. She swung her bag at him, hitting him hard.
“You!”
“So what if I hit you, you shameless bastard!” Ning Qian was furious. Although it was their family matter, she still couldn’t help but intervene, remembering Wen Jin’s recent distress, the way she had been drowning her sorrows in alcohol. Ning Qian’s heart ached for Wen Jin, who was suffering because of this man.
“Qianqian, ignore him.”
After years of unrequited love, Ning Qian’s feelings for Wen Jin had become an obsession. She would rather be hurt herself than see Wen Jin suffer.
Ning Qian knew her love was humble, but even if this humbleness could only earn her a few more glances from Wen Jin, she was willing, as long as there was still hope, still a chance.
So Wen Jin’s words that day, “I’m married,” had completely crushed her.
“Cough, cough, cough…” Ning Qian’s tough act didn’t last long. A wave of cold air hit her throat, triggering a coughing fit. With her stomach ulcer and a cold, she was in for a rough time.
“Are you okay?” Wen Jin held Ning Qian, steadying her, then turned to the man, her voice cold and decisive. “My lawyer will contact you tomorrow. If you don’t sign the papers, we’ll see each other in court. There’s no room for negotiation.”
On the cold, winter night, the black car headed towards the hospital.
In the backseat, Ning Qian and Wen Jin were silent, their minds in turmoil from the recent events.
Ning Qian’s condition this time was more serious than any of her previous alcohol-induced hospital visits. Her stomach ulcer was bleeding, and she needed to be hospitalized for a few days. She had indeed been drinking excessively because of Wen Jin.
“I’ll approve a week’s leave for you, just focus on resting and recovering. And… don’t drink so much anymore.” Wen Jin sat by Ning Qian’s bed, her voice gentle. She knew Ning Qian’s excessive drinking was because of her.
“You’re one to talk. If you keep drinking like that, you’ll end up in the hospital too.” Ning Qian was weak and leaned against the headboard, looking at Wen Jin, her heart aching. Her lips were dry and pale, and she couldn’t help but ask, “…Do you still love him?”
Asking that question felt like torture.
Love? Wen Jin didn’t even think she liked him anymore.
Wen Jin looked down at the white sheets, thoughts she had never shared with anyone before. “I met him last year. We were both at a suitable age, our families were well-matched, so we got married at the beginning of this year. A week after we registered our marriage, he was transferred overseas for work, coming back occasionally…”
If she hadn’t canceled her business trip that day, Wen Jin wouldn’t have known that her husband was having an affair with a man.
Wen Jin’s view of marriage had been too practical, so practical that she had ignored the importance of emotional foundation. Having reached a suitable age, she had married someone who met her criteria. But after getting married, she hadn’t felt a single day of happiness, so she had focused entirely on her career.
She had asked Ning Qian if she was single, her voice filled with envy, because she regretted settling for a loveless marriage. Even if her husband hadn’t cheated on her, she figured she would eventually choose to divorce him anyway.
Ning Qian’s heart ached hearing Wen Jin’s story. “If you don’t love him, why were you drinking so much? He’s not worth it.”
She swallowed the words “I feel so bad for you.”
Wen Jin sighed. She hadn’t been drinking because of him, but because of the betrayal, the loneliness, the failed relationship, the pressure from work, all the negative emotions piling up. Wen Jin, always composed and rational, also wanted to escape reality for a while.
“I won’t anymore. Starting tomorrow, I’ll be free, won’t I?” Wen Jin said, a sense of relief in her voice, but looking at Ning Qian, she couldn’t help but think of their night together. “That night…”
Ning Qian turned her face away. “Don’t mention it, let’s pretend it never happened.”
Or treat it as a one-night stand. Thinking of it that way only hurt Ning Qian more, but what else could it be? Wen Jin didn’t love her when they slept together.
Wen Jin looked at Ning Qian for a long time, unsure how to respond, then finally said, “Qianqian, try to quit drinking, at least for now.”
“Okay.” Ning Qian replied sullenly, then seeing Wen Jin still there, she urged, “Go back, you don’t have to stay with me.”
“It’s fine, I’ll stay.”
Ning Qian continued, her voice muffled. “You being here is making me feel uneasy, I want to be alone.”
Wen Jin hesitated. The change in their relationship was also making her feel uneasy. She was worried about leaving Ning Qian alone in the hospital, but Ning Qian was insistent, so Wen Jin finally took her things and left.
Lying alone in the hospital bed, Ning Qian’s mind raced. Just as she had decided to give up on Wen Jin, this happened. Should she really give up? Wen Jin wouldn’t accept her, that night was just a drunken mistake, Wen Jin hadn’t rejected her advances simply because she was drunk. That morning, Wen Jin could have told her more, like that she was getting a divorce, but she only said “I’m married.” Ning Qian thought, Wen Jin saying that clearly meant she wasn’t willing to give her a chance.
Wen Jin didn’t leave the hospital, but sat in the corridor outside Ning Qian’s room. Late at night, she quietly entered the room; Ning Qian was already asleep.
“I like you, I’ve always liked you, since my sophomore year…” Looking at Ning Qian’s sleeping face, Wen Jin’s mind replayed Ning Qian’s confession that morning. She didn’t know why, but seeing Ning Qian like that, she had felt a pang of heartache and guilt, emotions that overshadowed the surprise of a woman confessing her love.
The always cheerful and somewhat silly Ning Qian had actually been in love with her all along. Wen Jin stared at Ning Qian’s face, lost in thought. She hadn’t seen Ning Qian smile since that night.
Wen Jin was slow to warm up to people, but she had quickly become close to Ning Qian. She couldn’t hide her joy when she saw Ning Qian during the interview. Back in university, she had secretly admired Ning Qian, envying her cheerful disposition, as if she had no worries in the world.
Later, when Ning Qian joined AS, she was still the same, and Wen Jin unconsciously gravitated towards her, finding her company comfortable and relaxing.
Wen Jin didn’t know why she always saw Ning Qian’s bright and cheerful smile; it was because Ning Qian only smiled so freely around her. It wasn’t that Ning Qian had no worries; her biggest worry all these years had been Wen Jin.
“Wen Jin…”
Hearing Ning Qian mumble in her sleep, Wen Jin leaned closer. “What is it? I’m here.”
“Wen Jin…” Ning Qian, even in her dreams, was calling her name. “Give me a chance… why… why did this happen…?”
“…If you don’t like me… why did you sleep with me…?”
Wen Jin’s heart tightened, and she felt a warm hand grab hers, holding it tight. Ning Qian had reached out in her sleep.
Pretending that night never happened was impossible for Wen Jin, let alone for Ning Qian. Wen Jin looked down at Ning Qian’s hand holding hers; her feelings towards Ning Qian had changed.
That night with Ning Qian was like a seed planted in Wen Jin’s heart, taking root and sprouting, a budding feeling she couldn’t quite define…
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