Our Love, A Public Service - Chapter 36
Chapter 36
“After tonight… I won’t like you anymore…”
Chi Jia stubbornly repeated these words, even in her drunken state, still trying to convince herself. For so many nights, every time she drank, she would tell herself that tomorrow, she would start living a “normal” life. And yet, every time she got drunk, her mind would be filled with thoughts of Jing Rui.
Even Chi Jia herself couldn’t understand why she was so fixated on Jing Rui. What was so special about surnamed Jing? But she just couldn’t control her emotions.
“I won’t like you anymore…” Despite her words, Chi Jia clung tightly to Jing Rui, nuzzling her face against Jing Rui’s warm and fragrant body.
Lying through her teeth even in her dreams. Jing Rui held Chi Jia close, noticing that she seemed to have lost even more weight. Holding Chi Jia in her arms, for the first time, Jing Rui’s thoughts lingered on their relationship.
Jing Rui stayed with Chi Jia all night.
They lay in bed, simply holding each other, sharing their warmth, a comforting feeling.
Chi Jia had a beautiful dream. In the snowy winter, she and Jing Rui were cuddling on the streets, the vixen holding her close, her tenderness reserved only for Chi Jia.
How could Jing Rui only be like this with her…?
She woke up, unsure what time it was, thankfully, it was her day off. Chi Jia opened her eyes, staring at the white ceiling, a sense of loss washing over her.
Chi Jia rubbed her head and turned to look beside her; the bed was empty.
The memories of last night were fragmented and hazy, but it seemed… Jing Rui had brought her home. Chi Jia vaguely remembered clinging to Jing Rui.
How embarrassing… Miss Chi, always trying to maintain her pride, suffering for it. Why did she have to hug Jing Rui? If she knew she had also confessed her true feelings, she would probably be mortified.
But she was alone in the room.
Her head throbbed. Waking up, Chi Jia couldn’t distinguish between dream and reality. Was it just a dream?
The more she thought about it, the more confused she became. Perhaps she had been too drunk. She was drinking with Director Ning, how could Jing Rui have brought her home? It must have been a dream.
Chi Jia dragged herself to the bathroom for a shower, still reeking of alcohol.
Hot water cascaded down, and Chi Jia rubbed her face vigorously, trying to wake herself up. She had drunk her fill last night; starting today, it was a new beginning.
After putting on a sweater and drying her hair, Chi Jia felt refreshed. It was snowing again, probably having snowed all night.
Chi Jia disliked snowy days. What beauty, what romance? In her eyes, it was just an inconvenience. Working life had stripped away her youthful idealism.
In the kitchen, Chi Jia poured herself a cup of hot water, warming her hands, then noticed the rice cooker was on the “keep warm” setting. She opened it; it was hot porridge.
Chi Jia stared at the rising steam, lost in thought. So, it was really Jing Rui last night, she had brought her home, and they had slept in the same bed.
The memories of last night gradually became clearer. Chi Jia also remembered how warm she had felt last night, warmer than when she slept alone. Jing Rui’s face flashed through her mind. Staying with her all night, making porridge for her in the morning, then leaving without a word, what did it mean?
Chi Jia could never understand what Jing Rui was thinking. Perhaps it was just a rich person’s whim, doing whatever she felt like, being nice to you one day, then to someone else the next, flirting with you when she was in the mood, then moving on if things got unpleasant.
Looking at the porridge, Chi Jia lost her appetite, impulsively wanting to pour it out, but she burned her hand. “Ouch…”
In the end, she still ate a bowl, cursing herself for being so easily moved. Plenty of people would make porridge for her.
Jing Rui left Chi Jia’s place without a word because she needed some time alone, especially after hearing Chi Jia’s drunken words, realizing how seriously Chi Jia was taking their relationship.
Although Chi Jia was the first person she had actively pursued, Jing Rui admitted she wasn’t good at relationships, including her current feelings for Chi Jia. She didn’t like lying, she had never made any promises, and she couldn’t offer Chi Jia a relationship with promises.
They said love had an expiration date, and Miss Jing’s expiration date was definitely shorter than average.
In relationships, Jing Rui never thought about the future. Ning Qian said she just liked to “play around,” and although it sounded harsh, it was true to a certain extent.
Chi Jia’s drunken confession had made Jing Rui hesitate. That night, holding Chi Jia in her arms, she had thought long and hard, she didn’t want to hurt Chi Jia.
10 PM, Ning Qian was the only one left in the restaurant.
“Not going home yet?”
“Nowhere else to go. Can’t I just sit here for a bit?” Ning Qian was still distraught, although much better than before, at least she wasn’t drinking herself into oblivion every night.
Jing Rui took a bottle of wine and two glasses, sat down opposite Ning Qian, and poured them each a glass.
“In a good mood tonight, drinking with me?” After Ning Qian’s drunken outburst at her place last time, Jing Rui would usually refuse whenever she mentioned drinking.
“Just a glass or two, to chat.” Jing Rui raised her glass and took a small sip.
Ning Qian looked at Jing Rui; the usually cheerful Miss Jing seemed down lately.
“Don’t you ever get tired?” Jing Rui casually swirled her wine glass, asking Ning Qian, “Having a crush on someone for so long, don’t you get tired of it?”
Ning Qian scoffed. “If you like someone, how can you get tired of it? You have no right to talk about liking someone.”
“Really?”
“You only love yourself.” Ning Qian thought for a moment, then added, “Did you… properly apologize to Chi Jia?”
Despite being friends, Ning Qian still wanted to call Jing Rui a scumbag.
Jing Rui was silent for a while. “I like her, I asked her out twice, and she rejected me both times.”
“You… got rejected?” Ning Qian couldn’t help but laugh, recalling Jing Rui saying someone had broken her heart. No wonder she had been so gloomy. “The person who hurt you… was Chi Jia?”
“Is it that amusing that I got rejected?”
“This is the best news I’ve heard lately. Jing Rui, you finally got what you deserved.” Ning Qian said mockingly, then remembering Chi Jia’s words that night, she was confused. “What’s really going on between you and Chi Jia? That girl likes you, if you want to pursue her, why are you still messing around with other women?!”
“That night at my place, I said I had company, she misunderstood.” Jing Rui replied calmly.
Ning Qian was speechless; she was the cause of the misunderstanding. “Then explain it to her!”
“There’s no need to explain. We’re not suited for each other.”
“You like each other, what’s not suitable?” Ning Qian thought of her own almost decade-long unrequited love. If the person she liked also liked her back, she would go through fire and water for them. As long as there were mutual feelings, no problem was insurmountable.
“I’m afraid I’ll hurt her, do you understand? She’s straight, and it’s her first time liking a woman.” It was also Chi Jia’s first time with a woman; their encounter that night wasn’t exactly a beautiful memory, no feelings involved, just a moment of impulse.
“Stop making excuses for your irresponsibility. You just don’t love her enough. If you truly like someone, even if you’re not suited for each other, you would be willing to change for them, instead of casually saying you’re not compatible.”
“…I know you’ve dated many women, but I bet you don’t understand that relationships require effort, not just material things. You’re just too selfish, people like you deserve to be alone, to end up lonely and miserable.”
Jing Rui listened quietly, realizing Ning Qian was right. Apart from material things, she had never truly put any effort into a relationship.
“If you like Chi Jia, then pursue her properly, consider her feelings.” Ning Qian used to be straight too, having been “converted” by her best friend in high school. She understood how much courage it took for someone to accept that they liked women, and then to accept being with a woman.
Ning Qian felt that Jing Rui saying “I don’t want to hurt her” showed a glimmer of humanity, indicating she did care about Chi Jia. Sipping her wine, she sighed. “You two are so lucky to have mutual feelings, and you don’t even realize it. Compared to me, are your problems even problems…?”
Jing Rui looked at the wine in her glass, remembering Chi Jia’s tight embrace and her stubborn words, “I don’t like you anymore…”
Ning Qian didn’t drink too much tonight. Walking down the snow-covered street, shivering in the cold, she chuckled wryly. Her own problems were a mess, and yet she was giving advice to others.
Submitting resumes, contacting new companies, Ning Qian tried to keep herself busy. Even though she had resigned, she wanted to finish her work properly before leaving.
Ning Qian wasn’t a stunning beauty, but with some effort, she could be considered attractive. However, compared to a beauty like Wen Jin, Ning Qian’s presence was almost negligible.
So her feelings for Wen Jin had always been tinged with insecurity. Wen Jin was the unattainable goddess in her heart, at least, that was what she thought before they slept together.
But Ning Qian had many admirers; her good personality, optimism, and cheerful disposition were attractive. Yet she had rejected them all, because her heart belonged to Wen Jin…
Now that Wen Jin was out of the picture, Ning Qian tried to be optimistic, telling herself she should be happy, no longer having to suffer from unrequited love, finally able to move on with her life.
Ning Qian had figured it out, unrequited love was too tiring. If she couldn’t find mutual love, then she would choose someone who loved her, someone who would cherish and adore her.
10 PM, everyone had left the office, the entire floor deserted. Ning Qian was still working overtime, finishing a brand proposal. She stood up to get some coffee when she inadvertently noticed the light was still on in Wen Jin’s office…
Just then, a man carrying a bouquet of flowers walked straight in.
Was that… her husband? Ning Qian was so distracted that the coffee overflowed, spilling all over her hand. She hurriedly wiped it with a tissue.
A moment later, she heard raised voices, seemingly coming from Wen Jin’s office…
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