Our Love, A Public Service - Chapter 34
Chapter 34
“Jing Rui… I want…”
Chi Jia’s eyes were closed, repeating “I want” into the phone. She wanted to sound casual and carefree, but her voice was like a wounded lamb whimpering, almost pitiful.
“I want… to sleep with you… right now…” Chi Jia was drunk, her heart screaming “I miss you,” but the words that came out were “I want you,” because the latter was easier to say, less burdensome.
Jing Rui had suggested they date twice, and Chi Jia had rejected her both times. How could she agree? Suddenly developing feelings for a woman, she felt uneasy and scared. What she needed was reassurance and encouragement, not just sex.
Lately, sleeping with Jing Rui made Chi Jia feel worse, even kissing her. It was almost like she was using the physical pleasure to mask her true feelings, because she was emotionally invested now. But Jing Rui’s attitude was always ambiguous, hot and cold, near and far.
Chi Jia had told Jing Rui “I won’t come out,” not “we can’t be together,” harboring a sliver of hope, subconsciously wishing for a little more commitment from Jing Rui, to give herself the courage to accept her feelings. At least their relationship shouldn’t be based solely on “the sex is good.”
That was probably why, despite rejecting Jing Rui, seeing her with other women still hurt. Because that sliver of hope had been extinguished.
Although they hadn’t officially defined their relationship, Chi Jia finally understood what it felt like to be dumped. Perhaps it was karma; she had dumped so many people, broken so many hearts, so now she had met Jing Rui, who was making her experience the same pain.
Even after breaking up with her exes, she had never been this drunk.
“Why aren’t you saying anything… say something…” Chi Jia rambled for a while, then realizing Jing Rui hadn’t spoken, she felt something was wrong.
“Chi Jia,” Jing Rui’s voice was cold, her expression darkening. How much had Chi Jia drunk to call her and say these things? “You’re drunk.”
“I’m not drunk!” Chi Jia rolled around on the sofa. “Didn’t you say… if I wanted to sleep with you, I should call you…?”
Jing Rui felt a pang of something hearing the desperation in Chi Jia’s voice. If it were anyone else pestering her like this, she would have blocked their number long ago. “I have company tonight, it’s not convenient. You’re drunk, go to sleep.”
Hearing “company, not convenient,” Chi Jia froze, almost dropping her phone. She instantly sobered up a bit, recalling the scene of Jing Rui cuddling with another woman at the bar. Of course, Miss Jing, with her insatiable appetite for sex, would definitely bring someone home.
“Sorry to bother you.” Chi Jia’s voice was clear now.
“Chi Jia…” Jing Rui was about to say something, but Chi Jia had already hung up, clearly misunderstanding her words.
Jing Rui looked at Ning Qian, who was drinking water like it was wine, then at her phone. Should she explain? Since she didn’t intend to pursue Chi Jia anymore, there was no need for an explanation.
Leaning back against the sofa, closing her eyes, Jing Rui sighed. When had she started letting relationships bother her? It wasn’t worth it. Relationships were mostly futile, even riskier than investments.
Chi Jia stared blankly at the ceiling. The first one she actively pursued? Tonight, the vixen was probably cuddling with another woman, calling her “babe.”
The thought made Chi Jia nauseous, and she rushed to the bathroom, throwing up violently…
She fell asleep hugging the toilet and woke up the next morning with a terrible cold, even breathing was difficult.
Ning Qian had been drinking every night for the past few days, the loss of her long-time crush leaving her feeling empty.
At the bar, there was another person who also felt empty: Chi Jia.
Their situations were surprisingly similar, not quite heartbreak, but close enough, both surrounded by an aura of gloom.
Chi Jia was drinking one glass after another. The person next to her was doing the same. She looked familiar, and Chi Jia looked closely. “Director Ning?”
Ning Qian looked up. “Chi Jia… you’re here drinking alone?”
“Yeah, I’m used to it.” Chi Jia noticed Ning Qian had also had quite a few drinks and seemed troubled, probably also in a bad mood.
Ning Qian was usually very approachable, rarely acting like a superior, her youthful attitude allowing her to connect with the younger employees.
“Haven’t seen you singing on stage lately.”
Chi Jia gave a bitter smile. “Not feeling up to it.”
“In a bad mood? That’s why you’re drinking so much?” Ning Qian walked over to Chi Jia. Since they were both alone, they might as well drink together.
“Yeah, I’m in a bad mood.”
“What a coincidence, me too.”
Chi Jia smiled. “Let’s forget about everything tonight. Cheers, Director Ning.”
“Just call me Ning Qian after work. ‘Director Ning’ makes it sound like we’re still at the office.” Ning Qian clinked glasses with Chi Jia.
After a few more drinks, slightly tipsy, they became more open with each other. Chi Jia leaned against the bar. “You can’t possibly be in a worse mood than me…”
“Did you get dumped?”
“Worse than that… have you ever met someone like this… she says she wants to pursue you… you sleep with her, and a few days later, she’s sleeping with another woman…”
“Damn, that’s messed up!” Ning Qian cursed, then sighed. “Xiao Chi, I still think my situation is worse… The person I’ve had a crush on for almost ten years, after sleeping with me the other day, told me she’s married…”
As they drank, they started comparing their misfortunes.
Hearing about the ten-year crush, Chi Jia slammed the table. “Then you’re definitely worse off than me… That’s just inhumane…”
“Exactly… And I still can’t forget her.”
Chi Jia’s eyes were unfocused. “Me too, I feel like such a fool, why am I still thinking about her…?”
“Come on, let’s keep drinking.”
“To a new life tomorrow, cheers!!!”
That night, Chi Jia and Ning Qian found solace in each other’s company, their shared misery bringing them closer.
Chi Jia, completely drunk, kept mumbling, “Jing Rui… Jing Rui…”
At 11 PM, Jing Rui was lying in bed, scrolling through her phone. She came across a picture in her photo album, a picture she had taken of Chi Jia at sunset during their trip to Fengshan Mountain.
She had wanted to delete it, but for some reason, she hadn’t, so it remained. Jing Rui stared at Chi Jia’s smiling face in the picture, lost in thought. Her feelings for Chi Jia seemed different.
Chi Jia was the first person she had actively pursued, twice even, and Chi Jia had rejected her both times. It was pointless, so why was she still thinking about her?
Ning Qian called. Jing Rui didn’t really want to answer, it was probably about the same thing again. Ning Qian, almost thirty years old, was so obsessed with love, as if life was meaningless without it. Comforting her once or twice was fine, but Jing Rui didn’t want to constantly deal with her emotional turmoil. She and Ning Qian had nothing in common in this regard. Besides, some shadows had to be faced alone.
After the phone rang for a while, Jing Rui finally answered.
“Jing Rui, you finally answered!”
“I don’t have time to drink, and you should drink less too.”
“Chi Jia is drunk, you need to come over…”
Why were they drinking together again? Jing Rui wondered. From Ning Qian’s voice, she had also had quite a bit to drink.
“She’s drunk, what does that have to do with me?” Jing Rui said indifferently.
“It has nothing to do with you that she’s drunk, but it has everything to do with you that she’s drunk and keeps calling your name!” Ning Qian finally realized, hearing Chi Jia call Jing Rui’s name, that the person Chi Jia was talking about was Jing Rui.
Feeling empathy for Chi Jia, Ning Qian felt the need to defend her, just like defending herself, almost yelling, “Surnamed Jing, if you want to play around, find someone in your own circles! Why are you messing with an innocent girl?! You had your fun, and then what? Chi Jia likes you! And you, after sleeping with her, you just pretend nothing happened! If you don’t like her, don’t sleep with her!”
Venting her own frustration with Wen Jin, Ning Qian unleashed it all on Jing Rui.
“Ning Qian, don’t jump to conclusions if you don’t know the situation.”
“Jump to conclusions?” Ning Qian held the phone to Chi Jia’s mouth.
Jing Rui heard Chi Jia’s drunken mumbling, “Jing Rui…”
Hearing Chi Jia’s voice, Jing Rui’s mind flashed back to the image of Chi Jia braving the snow to bring her medicine that day, the same feeling of heartache washing over her.
“Did you hear that?!” Ning Qian’s sharp voice pierced through.
Jing Rui got out of bed. “Where are you now?”
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