Our Love, A Public Service - Chapter 87
Extra: Ning Qian and Wen Jin (5)
"He set you up on a blind date… with a woman?!"
"Why can't I?"
Wen Jin's counter-question left Ning Qian speechless. She lowered her head and traced the edge of her teacup, reflecting on everything that had happened these past days, seemingly coincidental yet not quite.
The waiter, who had initially intended to remind them to order, heard their conversation and, sensing the tense atmosphere, awkwardly walked away, leaving them space.
Ning Qian thought for a long time but couldn't find the words. "Are you doing this on purpose?"
"Yes," Wen Jin's gaze softened as she looked at Ning Qian.
If there was no intention behind it, how could there be so many fates and coincidences in this world?
Ning Qian was at a loss for words, never expecting Wen Jin to admit it so naturally. If anything, her brazenness was almost comical. Was this still the Wen Jin she once knew? Since last night, when Wen Jin took the initiative to hug her and tried to keep her from leaving, Ning Qian had felt everything seemed so unfamiliar. Yet, simultaneously, her heart was touched.
"What exactly do you want?" Ning Qian finally mustered the courage to look directly into Wen Jin's eyes. She asked this because she was also confused, unsure of Wen Jin's true feelings. Of course, she hoped the person she loved also loved her, but could Wen Jin really love her? Wen Jin's affection was likely built merely on a foundation of guilt and sentiment.
Wounds heal but leave scars. When revisited, there will always be lingering resentment. Wen Jin no longer mentioned past events, and Ning Qian had agreed that everything was in the past.
"I think we can get to know each other again," Wen Jin said.
Ning Qian let out a scornful laugh.
"My name is Wen Jin, we're the same age, I'm also a designer, currently managing a design company in L City..." Wen Jin looked at Ning Qian, sincerely introducing herself, even though Ning Qian already knew these details thoroughly. "I've been through a failed marriage. Do you mind?"
Despite Wen Jin's sincerity, Ning Qian sipped her tea and whispered, "Don't joke around."
"I'm serious," Wen Jin said, taking the menu and handing it to Ning Qian. "Let's order first, and we can chat while eating."
Suddenly, they were following the process of a blind date. Ning Qian felt something was off about her and Wen Jin's situation. She had never imagined they would find themselves in this scenario.
"Wen Jin," Ning Qian thought for a moment, "we don't have to do this."
Wen Jin pressed her lips together. Her usually calm demeanor was now barely containing her emotions. Her tone rose slightly, "Why can't I? Tell me, why can other women can, but I can't?"
Seeing Wen Jin's emotional state, Ning Qian's heart pounded like a drum. She was experiencing for the first time how much Wen Jin truly cared about her.
Realizing her own outburst, Wen Jin collected herself, though her heart still ached. Especially when thinking about last night, when Ning Qian was chatting and laughing with Lin Man, she was terrified Ning Qian might genuinely like someone else. Her heart felt blocked and sour, an indescribable discomfort. She cared for Ning Qian. Call it selfish if you will, but she hoped Ning Qian would only look at her that way.
After a moment of silence, Wen Jin took a deep breath and continued, with all her vulnerable postures displayed before Ning Qian, "Or is it because you mind that I'm divorced..."
"No!" Ning Qian responded without hesitation. She couldn't bear to hear Wen Jin speak so self-deprecatingly because in her heart, Wen Jin was the most exceptional. What could a divorce prove? She didn't want to see Wen Jin undervalue herself, nor did she want Wen Jin to think she cared about that.
Ning Qian's response gave Wen Jin some peace of mind. In truth, they had never truly sat down and had an honest conversation. Perhaps now was the opportunity.
"If you truly feel there's no possibility between us, and that my presence in your life would only bring disruption..." Wen Jin calmed her emotions, her tone gradually becoming composed. After a long pause, she lowered her eyes and finished the remaining half of her sentence, "...I will definitely not continue to pester you."
Wen Jin emphasized "truly" twice because she could sense that Ning Qian, just like a year ago, still cared about her. But caring doesn't mean acceptance. Feelings require both effort and respect. Wen Jin didn't want her thoughts and actions to become a burden imposed on Ning Qian.
When Ning Qian left last year, saying Wen Jin was disrupting her life was merely a momentary outburst. Throughout everything, Ning Qian had never truly blamed Wen Jin.
Her heart wavering, Ning Qian couldn't pinpoint an exact answer. Accepting or rejecting—she couldn't make an immediate decision on either. Just then, her assistant called, informing her of an impromptu client meeting in the evening. She packed her things, "I have something to do, I need to leave first. Sorry."
This was undoubtedly another form of avoidance.
Wen Jin felt like cold water had been poured over her. She didn't know if Ning Qian truly had urgent matters or was simply finding an excuse to avoid being with her. She took out a ticket from her bag and handed it to Ning Qian.
Ning Qian looked down and saw it was a circus performance ticket. Instantly, her heart warmed. She understood the memories hidden behind this ticket.
"I remember you liked this," Wen Jin said casually, referencing a past memory.
The memories behind this ticket were crystal clear to Ning Qian. The first time she had independently asked Wen Jin out, she had gifted her a circus performance ticket. The things she had actively done for Wen Jin back then seemed to be deliberately being "returned" now.
Wen Jin silently watched Ning Qian, having deliberated for a long time before softly saying, "Whether you come or not, I'll wait for you."
Ning Qian clutched the ticket in her hand, unsure how she left the restaurant. Sitting in her car, she stared at the colorful ticket for a long time, her mind filled with thoughts of Wen Jin...
Tonight, Ning Qian was in a terrible state. Even during her social engagements, she was distracted and nearly jeopardized the client meeting.
Late at night.
After showering, Ning Qian lay in bed staring at the ceiling, gazing for who knows how long. The hanging lamp was somewhat dazzling, making her eyes blur. Ning Qian simply turned off the light, everything consumed by darkness.
Five minutes later, the light was on again.
Tossing and turning, Ning Qian sat up in bed and took out the ticket from her wallet. Tomorrow at 7:30 PM was the show, coincidentally the same time as her flight to S City.
Life always presents countless choices, big and small.
Ning Qian was frustrated with herself. What was there to overthink? Hadn't she already ended her obsession with Wen Jin a year ago? She clearly remembered how many times she had drunk herself silly, endured countless bitter moments before convincing herself to gradually move on. Why was she hesitating again? Why couldn't she be more straightforward and just let go?
She asked herself again: Was she truly happy with Wen Jin? Such happiness was nothing more than self-deception. With Wen Jin, she had mostly tasted bitterness. Now, she couldn't understand how her past self could have been so persistently committed...
The ticket was torn in half by Ning Qian, ruined, just like how she had torn up their photo last year.
The next evening, Ning Qian checked out of the hotel and prepared to go to the airport with her assistant. As for Wen Jin, no response was already an answer.
"Ms. Ning, you didn't sleep well last night?" her assistant asked.
"I've been a bit tired recently," she replied.
The assistant, seeing her leader's poor mood, didn't dare ask more and remained quiet.
The car drove at a steady speed, getting closer to the airport and further from the city.
Ning Qian closed her eyes to rest briefly, but within three minutes, another phone call disturbed her. She rubbed her forehead, exasperated. It was that class monitor who always worried about her.
"?"
"Qian Qian, you and Wen Jin..."
Even through the phone, Ning Qian could hear the other's gossipy tone. "There's nothing between us. Don't arrange things like this again."
"I promise this won't happen again. This time, I really had no choice. Wen Jin called me the night before last, saying she wanted to ask me for a favor. You know Wen Jin—she would never easily ask someone for help. She said she likes you, so I took the liberty..."
She said she likes you.
After hearing this sentence, Ning Qian didn't hear anything else the other person said. It seemed that no matter how much effort she made to forget, just the words "she likes you" were enough to undo all her previous work.
"Qian Qian? Are you listening to me?"
"Mm..."
Ning Qian hung up the phone, her heart unable to calm down.
"Ms. Ning, are you feeling unwell?" the assistant asked, noticing her increasingly poor complexion after the phone call.
"I'm fine."
"You're lucky today. We haven't hit any traffic," the driver said, holding the steering wheel. "We'll reach the airport in about ten minutes."
"If you truly feel we have no possibility... I will definitely not continue to pester you."
"Whether you come or not, I'll wait for you."
"She said she likes you..."
As the scenery outside continued to retreat, Ning Qian suddenly looked up. "Driver, could you pull over?"
"Ms. Ning?" The assistant looked at her, confused.
"I have an urgent matter. You can go back first."
"Ah?"
Ning Qian hurriedly got out of the car and hailed another taxi, heading back to the city...
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