SDIWD - Chapter 61
Chapter 61
"M-Miss…"
The Sentinel looked at Hua Mu, her eyes brimming with tears, looking so pitiful that Hua Mu felt a pang of sympathy. But she had thought long and hard to come up with this speech, and she couldn't back down now.
"That's enough. It's decided!"
Afraid she would soften, she stood up and pretended to busy herself with something else. Bai Zhen sat there in a daze, and soon began to silently wipe away her tears.
The blow of being dismissed by Hua Mu was too much for her. The goal she had always strived for was gone.
"Miss…"
Hua Mu was truly speechless.
Why was this idiot Sentinel so single-minded? There were only the two of them on the island. Even if she dismissed her, did that mean they could no longer see each other?
They didn't have to be master and servant; they could be… be other things! Like friends, or… or partners, or something… First of all, she had to declare that she wasn't saying this because she liked this big idiot, but because she was considering what might happen when she had to soothe her spirit animal soon!
Bai Zhen bit her lip, sobbing so hard she could barely breathe, her mind filled with the thought that her Miss didn't want her anymore.
Hua Mu couldn't bear to watch any longer. She walked back with a jar of honey and some toasted coconut flakes and sat down beside her.
"Miss…" Afraid her wretched, crying face would offend Hua Mu's eyes, Bai Zhen quickly covered it with her hands.
"What are you crying for? Aren't you free now that you're not my guard? This is a great thing."
How was this a great thing? If she wasn't the Miss's guard, she would have no relationship with her at all.
"B-But I don't want to… Miss, please let me continue to be your guard. I don't need a salary."
Hua Mu shook her head firmly. "No, my pride won't allow it."
As she spoke, she dipped a toasted coconut flake in honey and ate it, showing not a hint of embarrassment for taking food from the other person.
Bai Zhen was at a loss, her heartbroken sobs wracking her body.
Aiya, could it be because of her period? Even a tough-as-nails Sentinel like Bai Zhen was getting sentimental. And honestly, it was kind of cute.
"Why are you so insistent on being my guard? Anyone else in this situation would probably be thrilled to abandon me."
Or worse, they might actually have ill intentions toward her.
"They wouldn't. No one would treat you like that."
No, you're the weird one. Don't assume everyone is like you.
Hua Mu stared at her speechlessly for a long moment before saying, "If you're not my guard, I can promote you to a friend. Don't be sad."
A friend!
Being the Miss's friend was something Bai Zhen had never dared to imagine. She desperately wanted to be friends with the Miss, but she also wanted to be her guard.
Bai Zhen looked at her, her eyes red-rimmed. "Would you… would you be willing to be my friend?"
Just like Miss Catherine and Miss Manman.
Hua Mu nodded magnanimously. "In any case, we've been through life and death together. You're very trustworthy, so I'm willing to be friends with you."
A glimmer of hope appeared in Bai Zhen. "Then… then can you please not dismiss me? I-I'm honored to be your friend, but I… I also want to be your guard."
Why was this girl so fixated on the position of a guard? Couldn't she have a little more ambition?
"I already told you there's no salary… Wait—do you really want to be my guard that badly?"
Bai Zhen's eyes lit up, and she nodded repeatedly. "I don't need a salary, Miss! Please let me be your guard!"
"That won't do. A salary must be paid…" Hua Mu glanced at her sideways, feeling a little nervous and shy. "Ahem, don't you Sentinels need Guide-hormone? I'm a very powerful Guide, you know. I can use my soothing as your salary."
"…H-How could that be acceptable!"
Hua Mu felt like her life was too difficult, and this Sentinel was too infuriating! She had come up with such a perfect idea to make Bai Zhen accept it naturally, and all this girl did was refuse?
"Hmph, do whatever you want. You might as well just die. Let all my efforts go to waste. Leave me with no guard and no friends, doing all the dirty work every day, until I die all alone on this island."
Bai Zhen's heart clenched with anxiety. "That won't happen. Rescue will surely come soon."
"Soon? It's been over two months! Have you seen so much as a ghost of a rescuer? Do you even believe that yourself? I heard someone once lived on a deserted island for thirty-five years. When they were found, they were already a crazy old man!"
Hearing this, Bai Zhen's confidence dwindled. Making the Miss live alone on an island for thirty-five years… that would be worse than… worse than having her… with herself…
Seeing that she seemed to be wavering, Hua Mu pressed on. "Do you think I'm sacrificing myself for you? I just don't want to be alone. What if rescue never comes? What am I supposed to do?"
Hua Mu's words were like a sudden enlightenment for Bai Zhen.
That's right! If rescue never came and the Miss was left all alone on the island, she wouldn't be able to rest in peace even in death!
"Th-Then, Miss…" Tears still clinging to her face, Bai Zhen said anxiously, "I will do my best to live. I won't let you be alone."
Hua Mu loved hearing Bai Zhen pledge her loyalty now.
"That's more like it."
"But…"
The Sentinel was determined to survive, but she was still filled with anxiety about what might come. If only it were a simple matter of soothing her spirit animal… But perhaps there was another way?
Research institutions had never stopped exploring the mechanisms and causes of binding heat. What was currently certain was that it was the result of pheromonal interaction. Its ultimate purpose was instinct driving highly compatible Sentinels and Guides to bond promptly and reproduce.
Some medications could alleviate the symptoms of binding heat, but they generally had side effects to varying degrees. Besides that, there was another method, suitable for Sentinels and Guides in their adjustment period. A mental bond was not only reversible, but it could also significantly reduce the frequency and intensity of binding heat episodes for a certain period.
This phenomenon was called the "binding refractory period."
Because the purpose of binding heat was to compel the two parties to bond, and a mental bond was generally recognized as a high intention to bond, the body would automatically reduce its stress response to the pheromones, thereby weakening the intensity of the binding heat.
But a mental bond was not without risks. After all, simply opening one's mental landscape to another was inherently dangerous. And Sentinels and Guides who were mentally bonded could perceive nearly all of each other's emotions, which, in a way, was even more "dangerous" than a physical bond.
Therefore, most Sentinels and Guides who decided to form a mental bond usually ended up together for life. If, unfortunately, they didn't make it to that stage, the two would likely never interact again for the rest of their lives.
The reason Bai Zhen had never considered this before was her fear that Hua Mu would discover her own indescribable secret feelings. But things had reached this point, and she absolutely could not let her selfishness ruin the Miss's happiness for a lifetime.
Hua Mu was so tired of hearing the Sentinel's "buts" now.
"What is it now?"
Bai Zhen had made up her mind, and her words flowed much more smoothly.
"I'd like to know, how much do you understand about mental bonding?"
Because mental bonds were reversible, the general public seemed to hold the misconception that a mental bond must precede a physical one. In reality, there was no specific order for the two; most Sentinels and Guides simply made that choice out of caution.
In other words, it was possible to have a physical bond first and then a mental one, or to have both happen simultaneously.
If Hua Mu had only skimmed through other Sentinel-Guide knowledge, she utterly detested the chapter on bonding. If she didn't force herself to recall it, she definitely wouldn't remember a thing.
"Isn't it just the act of a spirit animal 'nesting' in the other's mental landscape?"
Nesting was a vivid term for the act of a spirit animal leaving a mark. This mark could be called a coordinate or a channel, and from then on, both spirit animals could freely travel between the two mental landscapes.
"In simple terms, that's correct, but…"
Bai Zhen explained the consequences of a mental bond to her and stated her proposal.
"I know this is a very presumptuous request, but compared to… this is the best method I can think of."
Even if the Miss discovered her secret feelings, even if she was called a pervert, even if she could never see the Miss again after they returned, she would have no regrets.
Bai Zhen had made her decision, fully expecting Hua Mu to agree readily. To her surprise, the other girl just stared at her with wide eyes, not saying a word for a long time.
M-M-M-Mental bonding had that effect?
She would rather die of exhaustion in bed than ever go through with a mental bond!
While it was great to know what the other person was thinking, the problem was that they would also know what she was thinking, wouldn't they? That was just too embarrassing! Was there no privacy left at all? Did all those Sentinel-Guide couples never have domestic disputes? Wouldn't it be impossible to even hide a secret stash of money?
Although Hua Mu had read a pile of fanfiction and smut… ahem, literature, there was very little academic content in them. Most were written by ordinary people and had no reference value whatsoever.
While this type of literature was quite popular in the circles of noble young ladies, their discussions were incredibly veiled and ambiguous, and their focus was certainly not on such matters. As a result, Hua Mu was only now learning about the consequences of a mental bond.
"Miss, what… what do you think?"
"Absolutely not!"
Hua Mu couldn't even eat her honey anymore.
Seeing her sudden outburst, the Sentinel thought her proposal had angered her and said fearfully, "I know it's not a good method, but a mental bond can fade. As long as we don't have frequent contact after we get back…"
"No means no! And you are forbidden from mentioning it again!"
Hua Mu shoved the jar she was holding into Bai Zhen's arms and stomped away in a huff.
"Miss…"
Bai Zhen didn't understand why Hua Mu was more resistant to a mental bond than a physical one. Although she had her own little secrets, she believed they were nowhere near as important as Hua Mu's chastity, so she naturally couldn't comprehend her reaction.
Halfway there, Hua Mu turned back and ordered viciously, "Don't even think about it!"
She refused to become a synonym for lewdness and insatiable desire in Bai Zhen's mind!
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