TGS - Chapter 194
Chapter 194: Memories (3)
Lotus, of course, had a guilty conscience.
She had discovered that, at some point, her feelings for Alyuin had changed.
The change had begun subtly, silently, and by the time she noticed, it was already deeply rooted in her heart, leaving Lotus utterly at a loss as to how to handle these emotions.
In this unfamiliar, ancient era, the first person Lotus had met was Alyuin. It was Alyuin who had guided her, helping her gradually integrate into the world of ancient Solancia and setting her on a new path, completely different from her past.
Friend, guide, confidante…
No matter how one put it, from the very beginning, Alyuin was destined to play the most special role in this chapter of her life.
But this "specialness" had, through their time together, taken on another meaning. When Lotus first realized it, she nearly thought something was wrong with her. She struggled for a long time, caught between the shackles formed by her family background and the budding feelings she had for Alyuin, trying to suppress the thoughts in her mind.
The crimson lips her gaze lingered on unintentionally, the profile and grace of Alyuin drawing her bow, the casualness that stern beauty revealed in private conversations, and all the other sides of her that no one else knew.
They hammered away at Lotus’s precarious willpower, trying to break down the door to her heart. It was a long tug-of-war, and the final outcome was predictable. Lotus let her guard down for a moment, and she lost.
After surrendering to herself, Lotus carefully concealed her feelings, not letting Alyuin find out. Although many in the city-state of Solancia believed that Lord Alyuin liked women, such rumors were baseless. At least, Lotus had never seen any sign of it.
They were friends and allies in cooperation, maintaining a delicate balance. If she were to rashly reveal this inexplicable affection, how would Alyuin react? Lotus had to consider this, so she chose to say nothing.
And so, Lotus was now a secret admirer with an occasionally guilty conscience.
This guilt would surface in certain situations, like the present one. Alyuin was expressing concern out of their friendship, yet Lotus was secretly delighted by the care she showed.
I should be ashamed of myself, Lotus thought.
Successfully inducing a small-scale rainfall had aftereffects beyond sleeping for ten days. Following that, Lotus felt weak for a long time, her physical strength only slightly above what was needed for basic self-care.
And after this feeling subsided, when Lotus tried to use her stronger water-control abilities again, she failed. She could still only form a basketball-sized ball of water or create small things like ice arrows and ice balls.
Perhaps it had just been an accidental, extraordinary performance. Or perhaps other conditions were needed, like an intense desire to achieve a goal?
Lotus had no way of knowing, because all subsequent attempts failed.
The effect of the rain was immediate. The city, abandoned by other large city-states and given up on by many of its own people, witnessed a miracle and surrendered with sincere conviction.
The River Goddess who had bestowed the rain became, in effect, their new deity. The influence of Solancian mythology expanded further. Even in an age of inconvenient transportation, legends still spread surprisingly fast, something Lotus hadn't anticipated.
Beyond that, there was another change.
Though Lotus wasn't sure if this change was just her imagination.
One afternoon, Lotus sat by the pond, seemingly feeding the fish, but in reality, she was practicing controlling the water's flow.
A faint feeling of being watched rose in her heart. Lotus stopped her practice and whipped her head around, her clear eyes looking in the direction the gaze had come from.
There was nothing there.
The feeling of being watched also seemed to have vanished.
Lotus stared in that direction for a moment before looking away.
Ever since news of the rain miracle had spread among the city-states, Lotus would occasionally feel a faint gaze from her surroundings. Only occasionally.
In fact, the feeling that someone was watching you from behind was supposed to be a psychological illusion, and that's what Lotus had thought at first—until one time later, when she was facing empty air, yet still felt that strange sense of observation in her line of sight. That was when things started to get strange.
But this non-existent gaze brought no corresponding trouble, and over time, Lotus stopped paying it much mind.
One day, the sky was overcast.
In the most recently conquered city, every household had its doors and windows shut tight. The city roads, which could hardly be called streets, still bore the desolation left by the clash of arms. There were almost no pedestrians, and the atmosphere was quite grim.
Compared to the other large city-states of the time, the Solancian army led by Alyuin was far more disciplined and was considered the one that harmed ordinary civilians the least. Even so, the locals were extremely cautious and didn't dare to go out casually, for fear of running into patrolling soldiers.
Lotus walked alone on the road.
She had just parted ways with Alyuin, who was heading toward the military camp. Lotus, on the other hand, was going to the local place of worship.
A small city-state like this would leave behind even fewer traces than ancient Solancia, next to none. Future generations would classify them as part of Solancian history, but in this era, its story had just come to an end.
Lotus just wanted to take a look.
Before the establishment of ancient Solancia, magnificent temple architecture had not yet been born. Places of worship were just small squares with an altar in the center, surrounded by short stone pillars.
And before the altar, a figure in a white robe stood silently with their back to Lotus. Judging by the figure, it was a woman.
A local priestess?
But before the Solancian army took this city, it had been occupied by another large city-state—Nibet. The priests, like the other local nobles, should have been slaughtered by them.
Puzzled, Lotus took a step forward.
The white-robed person seemed to hear the movement and turned around. Her hair was a very light color, and her eyes were as dark blue as the night sky. A smile played on her lips, but there was no trace of mirth in her eyes.
Lotus was always quite cautious when facing such an unknown person of unclear origins. She didn't move any closer and asked flatly, "Who are you?"
"Me? My name is Asilu," the white-robed person paused. "A wandering poet."
Lotus gave a polite nod. In the instant she lowered her eyes, she seemed to hear a faint sound of something cutting through the air by her ear, gone in a flash.
Asilu's face turned deathly pale. She raised a hand to her brow as if suffering from a headache. A moment later, she lowered her hand and looked at Lotus with a thoughtful, novel expression.
"They were right. You really are a human who can use divine power."
Lotus's heart jolted. She looked up, only to see that the space before the altar was empty.
The white-robed person who called herself Asilu had vanished.
Who on earth was that person?
What did she mean by a human who can use divine power?
The incident was practically supernatural. Lotus was a little startled, and upon recovering, she was filled with many doubts and speculations.
At first, she didn't plan on telling Alyuin about this, not only because it was bizarre, but more because of a certain unspoken understanding between them.
To this day, Alyuin had never questioned Lotus's so-called identity as a "giant fish spirit"—including her ability to control water. Her origins and abilities were topics they both tacitly avoided.
However, Asilu appeared again several more times, as elusive as a ghost.
Asilu was dedicated to making Lotus switch sides, though she never said which side to switch to, only instigating her to betray the city-state of Solancia.
Lotus treated these words as if they were the wind blowing past her ears.
But whenever Asilu tried to persuade her, a low, assenting voice would echo in her mind, even though Lotus had no such thoughts and was, in fact, thoroughly annoyed.
Lotus thought this was the other's ability, just as she could control water, but she soon discovered it was not that simple.
The description "elusive as a ghost" was very fitting for Asilu, because she was a god.
Humans could become gods, and her repeated attempts to recruit Lotus were because she wanted Lotus to become a deity of the same faction as her.
Lotus was speechless.
For a moment, she didn't know whether to be more amazed that gods actually existed in the world, or to lament what a self-important god Asilu was.
Logically, a deity should be extremely dangerous, capable of easily dispatching Lotus, who could only manage water balls and ice shards.
Fortunately, it seemed Asilu couldn't act against humans.
It made sense. If gods could kill humans at will, the current chaotic situation among the city-states would be twice as bad, or the wars would have ended directly—because no one could escape being caught in the crossfire of a battle between gods.
After understanding this, Lotus stopped paying any attention to Asilu, though she remained secretly on guard.
Asilu probably saw that Lotus was unmoved, and she appeared much less frequently after that.
In the following three years, the conquests and annexations between the city-states grew increasingly fierce, until all the small city-states had disappeared, and the various large city-states were engaged in ceaseless warfare.
Solancia's territory gradually expanded.
The time of Solancia's establishment, as verified by historians, was drawing nearer. On the land that would belong to Solancia in later ages, only three city-states—or rather, nations—remained.
Solancia, whose armies were commanded by Alyuin.
Nibet, which had once held the upper hand but was now losing momentum.
And Gaibola, which was huddled in the south and did not participate in the conflict.
Finally, the main forces of Solancia and Nibet were to face off near the Xitings Mountains. This was bound to be a crucial battle, and its outcome could well decide the final victory.
By this time, Lotus had almost forgotten about Asilu's existence, until the day before the battle, when Asilu appeared again.
Asilu sighed. "I don't need to ask to know that you won't agree, will you?"
Lotus said, "...If I may be so bold, what makes you so persistent?"
She had asked this question before, but only this time did Asilu answer.
"Your soul. It's different from any other human's or god's, as if it's not of this 【World】," Asilu said. "I do hope that after you become a god of Nibet, you can maintain this special quality."
This sentence made Lotus ponder for half a day, but in the end, she couldn't figure out its meaning.
The River Goddess of Solancia becoming a god of Nibet? How absurd.
Just then, Alyuin lifted the tent flap. "Who were you talking to?"
One look at her complexion and Lotus frowned slightly. "How long has it been since you rested?"
They looked at each other.
Lotus said, "Rest now."
Alyuin replied, "Alright."
Alyuin said she didn't want to go back to her own tent. Lotus hesitated for a moment, then, with a feeling that was both faintly satisfying and self-reproaching for that satisfaction, she let the overworked city lord get a good sleep here.
Lotus herself planned to go out. Just as she turned, Alyuin grabbed the corner of her clothes.
"If there's anything, you can always tell me," Alyuin said.
Lotus paused. "Alright."
She added, "You too."
Alyuin's eyes curved up at the corners. The angle, looking up from below, made the small gesture particularly captivating. She seemed to be thinking about something and didn't let go of Lotus's clothes. After a moment, she said lightly, "I will, later."
"Later?"
"After the battle with Nibet is over."
Probably something about the aftermath of the war... Lotus understood and nodded. "I see."
Alyuin let go of her clothes and closed her eyes. "You don't see."
Lotus was taken aback. When she looked at Alyuin again, she was already asleep.
She really did need a good rest to face the great battle to come.
The day of the battle arrived as scheduled.
On that day, the soldiers of Solancia and Nibet faced off on the battlefield, their armor colors—one black, one red—like two clearly demarcated torrents.
Lotus would not go onto the battlefield. After all, as the human vessel of the new god, the River Goddess, it would seem very un-godlike for her to fight like an ordinary soldier.
So, Lotus stood on slightly higher ground at the rear, observing the battle and launching a few water balls and ice shards at appropriate times.
This battle was not just a sure thing, it was a near-certain victory.
Not to mention, Alyuin was there.
Her presence here was like completing the final piece of the puzzle, telling everyone that Solancia would be the ultimate victor.
"To catch bandits, first catch their king." This applied at all times, and the other side obviously thought so too. Lotus watched for danger from the Nibet army but didn't pay special attention to her own military formation.
Neither did Alyuin.
Or rather, even if she had, she wouldn't have had time to react, because the one who made a move was the personal guard closest to her, right behind her.
In the blink of an eye, the traitor's long saber pierced the commander's left chest from behind. The sharp, snow-white blade stabbed in, and its blood-red tip emerged. It was so fast it defied thought; even the traitor himself seemed surprised.
His hands trembled, and the long saber he had just pulled out clattered to the ground.
Time seemed to freeze in that moment.
A loud ringing buzzed in Lotus's ears, and she couldn't hear anything.
The two armies had already begun to clash, and the battle could not be stopped. Other personal guards killed the traitor with a flurry of swords and carried Alyuin back to the rear, against the torrent of soldiers.
They looked at Lotus with urgency and pleading, as if hoping she could save their dying lord.
But Lotus was not a god, and even if she were, she could not control life and death.
Lotus knelt beside Alyuin, trying to control the blood, to force it back into that body to continue its function. But it was useless. Instead, she only managed to stain her own clothes with Alyuin's blood.
Alyuin's eyes were half-open. She said softly, "...Lotus."
"Don't talk!" A thin mist veiled Lotus's vision. She clenched her jaw, forcing the blood to flow backward against its natural course. The next moment, even more blood gushed out. She murmured, "Why won't it stop..."
Alyuin continued, "I—"
She parted her lips, as if about to utter the word for love or like in the Solancian language, but in the end, she pressed her upper lip down and said instead, "You... should go back to the Yilu River."
That was the last thing she said.
The blood no longer gushed out endlessly, but forcing it back in was of no use. Lotus lowered her head, staring blankly at the golden eyes that had lost their light, their pupils dilated.
As if driven by some unseen force, Lotus asked, "What is it that I don't know?"
But there was no one left to answer.
All memories after that were blurry and fragmented, like flashing scenes.
Lotus saw herself looking around in a daze, as if she had caught a glimpse of Asilu's figure in some corner of the sky, gone in an instant.
Asilu, Nibet, god, traitor.
The words linked together, and Lotus no longer knew if that was the truth.
The her in her memories seemed to have split into two. One half was consumed by immense grief and anger, wanting to retaliate for what the god of Nibet had done; the other half was like a gray shadow, stuck in place, disconnected from the outside world, repeatedly thinking, What is it that I don't know? What did you want to say?
The half filled with grief and anger finally merged with the other, regardless of sorrow, rage, or hollow emptiness.
In the center of the bronze mirror she carried, the blue sapphire suddenly began to surge violently. Perhaps the resonance of extremely strong will and emotion was the cause of the power's eruption, or perhaps not.
But what could be seen was that the Yilu River, beyond the battlefield, suddenly erupted in that instant.
The river water soared into the air, a transparent wave that blotted out the sun and covered the sky, overwhelming everything.
It was like a giant net of water, opened by death itself.
A waterfall hung upside down, a curtain of water spread out. An invisible force changed the river's course, affecting the land. A torrent on the ground and a torrent from the sky swept toward the Nibet army simultaneously.
—This was a man-made natural disaster!
The last scene in her memory was of Lotus half-holding Alyuin's body, her head bowed, her eyes quietly closed.
A small-scale rain had made her sleep for ten days and left her weak for a long time.
This cataclysm, however, drained her life force. The black hair that fell over her shoulders gradually took on a frosty hue, turning into wisps of silver-white.
The dark red bloodstains on it, almost invisible against the black hair, were now incredibly conspicuous on the silver, dotting it here and there.
Two points of light flickered and sank into the Yilu River, as the waves rolled on.
A few years later, a temple to the River Goddess would be built here. The girl who had once nearly died of thirst in a drought would be its first priestess.
More than a thousand years later, a branch of the river still flows along its altered course. The temple, repaired many times, still stands as it was. They would meet again here, thinking it was for the first time.
The name of this city was Kadera.
At the bottom of Jadaar Lake, before the altar of the Void Temple, Lotus slowly opened her eyes.
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