Monster - Chapter 77
Chapter 77: Silver Stone City - A Poem for You
Although Silver Stone City was called a city, it was really just a collection of buildings clustered together with no clear boundaries. When they passed a checkpoint, they were required to pay either 200 points or a 200,000-credit entry tax. Failure to pay would result in being treated as an enemy of Silver Stone City and having a bounty placed on their heads. Neither Lin Sandie nor Lou had any points, so they had to pay with money. This was Lin Sandie's first real lesson in the practicality of points in the Disorder Land.
Lou didn't drive much farther. After passing the checkpoint, she pulled into the nearest motel, its neon sign flickering, and asked for a room.
Meeting Lin Sandie's questioning gaze, Lou stated even more frankly, "This is the Disorder Land. I have to shoulder the responsibility of protecting this 'family.'"
"Then let's get a room with two beds," Lin Sandie suggested. She was afraid the 'Scorpion' would make her lose control in the middle of the night and try to strangle Lou.
"Alright."
Seeing Lou's somewhat disappointed expression, Lin Sandie frowned slightly, feeling a pang of irritation. She didn't understand what any of this was supposed to mean.
"Look." But Lin Sandie had clearly misunderstood Lou, who seemed genuinely indestructible. Her moments of disappointment never lasted more than five seconds.
Following Lou's gaze, Lin Sandie looked at the wall on the second floor of the motel. The wall was covered in slightly yellowed wallpaper, upon which was written in beautiful cursive:
We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.
"I like poetry, too. Do you, Lin Sandie?" Lou asked, walking ahead and twirling the key in her hand.
"It's alright. You seem to like a lot of things." First philosophy, now poetry and music. Lou sounded like a young lady from a very cultured family. It was a mystery why her personality was so awful.
"Then what do you like?"
"Interesting stories and exciting games," Lin Sandie said after a moment of thought. She liked watching interesting and thrilling movies, reading brilliant and wonderful novels, and playing games that stimulated her nerves, like haunted houses and bungee jumping—terrifying, intense games.
"Hmm, but you're not one for telling stories. I can see that," Lou said. Lin Sandie never liked to talk much about herself or her feelings.
"Nothing interesting has ever happened to me, and I don't have anything I want to talk about," Lin Sandie said, momentarily stunned, not understanding what Lou was trying to say.
They chatted about their preferences as they made their way to the room. Having been on the road all day, they didn't plan on going out that night. Lin Sandie, in particular, was so exhausted she just wanted to shower and sleep.
"Do we need to stand watch tonight?" Lin Sandie asked Lou seriously.
Lou was amused by her. Seeing her push through her exhaustion to ask, she thought, She's just too stubborn.
She reached out to brush aside Lin Sandie's bangs, noticing the swelling on her brow bone was still there. "No need. Go take a shower. It's best not to get water on the wound."
While Lin Sandie was in the shower, Lou leaned against the bed and began to write a poem. On her way up, she had seen a sign at the front desk stating that guests who wrote a poem would receive a free breakfast.
When Lin Sandie came out of the bathroom, she saw Lou focused on a small notebook, writing and drawing with an intensity that was unlike her usual self.
"What are you writing?"
"A poem."
Lin Sandie grunted in acknowledgment, surprised that Lou could actually write poetry. After a brief moment of astonishment, she returned to her own bed, the one closer to the wall, and started searching her phone for articles on "parenting rebellious children." This had become her required reading before bed each night.
After a while, seeing that Lou hadn't moved, Lin Sandie kindly reminded her, "There was a sign in the hallway by the door. It said hot water is only available until 10 p.m."
"...Okay, I'll go wash up then." Lou wrote one last word in her notebook, then tore out the page and handed it to Lin Sandie. "I revised the poem I wrote earlier. What do you think?"
Lin Sandie looked down at the piece of paper Lou handed her. A modern poem was written on it. Although some words had been revised several times, the poem was complete.
We raised a monster together,
When the monster was small, it didn't ask for much,
It would happily eat the coarse food we gave it.
We were filled with joy,
Watching it slowly grow,
Watching it become greedy.
It needed more and better sustenance.
At this point,
Why don't we crush our eyes, nose, and mouth and arrange them on a plate,
Why don't we brew our heart, liver, and lungs into fine wine,
To feed this monster named love?
In her heart, is love a monster that devours people? Lin Sandie read the poem over and over, a little curious. She took out her phone, took a picture of the poem, and then flipped the paper over.
The writing on the back was even messier, with more corrections, making it almost illegible. Lin Sandie had to study it for a long time before she could piece together a relatively complete poem from the twisted, drunken scrawls.
I'm drunk,
So warm, so reassuring.
I'm not alone,
Nor am I lonely.
You are still by my side,
I am sheltered beneath your wings.
No need to face a desperate separation, a painful journey, a terrifying future.
And death, which follows like a shadow.
We lie together on the soft grass, looking at the same blue sky.
I'm drunk,
The past has all come back.
The stars are within my reach,
And you are where I can turn and embrace you.
Lin Sandie's eyes stung. She stared at the poem in her hand for a long time, suddenly wanting to read more of Lou's poetry.
Perhaps she would be a better poet than a detective.
"Lin Sandie, did I do a good job?" The sound of the bathroom door opening broke Lin Sandie's reverie. Lou was drying her long, wet hair as she asked with a smile.
"Is that how you see love?"
"The bond between a Sentinel and a Guide is far more profound than love. So, to me, love is just a small part of it."
"What kind of bond?"
"Hmm… Comrades who grow together, partners who face life and death, a gentle family, a lovely partner. There are many words to describe the relationship between a Sentinel and a Guide. When you have a Sentinel of your own, you'll understand."
"What if your love and your Guide aren't the same person?"
"Theoretically, if I'm in love, I won't have a Guide. And if I have a Guide… uh," Lou suddenly thought of the only Guide she ever acknowledged, Little Rabbit. If she had a body and kissed her like a lover… Lou looked as if she were being choked. She threw the towel over her face, hiding her expression from Lin Sandie. After a long pause, Lou continued, "Usually, a Sentinel's Guide is also their lover, and vice versa for Guides. When you truly become a Guide, our current relationship will be terminated. You won't even spare me a glance."
"...I'm not looking at you now. We're just playing house," Lin Sandie said heartlessly.
"Hmph." Lou's stalled hands finally started moving again, continuing to dry her hair.
"But you write very well. Maybe you really are suited to be a poet," Lin Sandie said, stating her honest opinion. "I like the one called 'I'm Drunk.'"
This seemed to stun Lou for a moment, but she quickly recovered, remembering that she had written these poems for Little Rabbit in the Leviathan script she had learned as a child. So it was normal for Lin Sandie to be able to read the one on the back.
Lou shrugged and sat down casually next to Lin Sandie, handing her the towel.
"Come on, dry the great poet's hair!"
Lin Sandie actually took the towel and began to dry her hair. During the process, under the influence of the 'Scorpion,' she felt a stronger urge to wrap the towel around Lou's seemingly fragile, slender neck and strangle her on the spot.
Especially since Lou was only wearing a tank top. When Lin Sandie looked down, she could see her fair skin, which seemed to be misted with water vapor. This made Lin Sandie's mind race with all sorts of ways to kill Lou.
Although she didn't want to, as a fan of gory horror movies, letting her imagination run wild was a characteristic of people like her.
After seeing Lou kill a monster with her own hands, Lin Sandie felt she could come up with more convenient, more surprising ways to kill her, even though she knew the gap between them was as wide as a chasm.
"What are you thinking about, Lin Sandie?" Lou looked up, her chin slightly raised, her light-colored eyes fixed on Lin Sandie.
"About how to kill you," Lin Sandie answered honestly, her eyes drifting to Lou's gently rising and falling collarbones. She turned Lou's head straight again and continued drying her hair.
See no evil.
"Is that so? In that case, you could press the towel over my nose and mouth. It's just long enough to wrap around my face once. And since you're behind me, it's the best position to exert force…" Lou began teaching Lin Sandie murder techniques.
I see.
Lin Sandie thought, then moved like lightning, pressing the entire towel over Lou's nose and mouth and pulling back with all her might.
Lou's body went rigid, her abdominal muscles tensing as she slammed back into Lin Sandie's chest. At the same time, she raised a hand to grab Lin Sandie's wrist, her thumb pressing hard into the webbing between her thumb and index finger. Lin Sandie winced in pain, her thumb losing its strength, and the towel loosened.
Gasping for air, Lou flipped over, snatching the towel back. She knelt with one knee on Lin Sandie's waist, using the strength of her thigh to pin her down. With her other two hands, she had already used the towel to bind Lin Sandie's wrists, pressing them against her chest. They were face to face.
"What do you do now?" Lou asked calmly.
"Use my knee." As soon as the words left her mouth, Lin Sandie raised her knee, aiming to strike Lou, who was on top of her.
But Lou's leg seemed to have eyes of its own. The moment Lin Sandie's right knee came up, Lou kicked her right ankle with her own. Lin Sandie's knee could no longer rise, as Lou had already pressed the top of her foot onto Lin Sandie's, bringing them even closer.
"Right idea, but too slow and too weak," Lou said with a grin, looking down at Lin Sandie, whose face was flushed red with anger again. Her damp hair hung down, her eyes veiled as if by a twilight mist.
Lin Sandie panted, her murderous intent and her affection for Lou finally, uncontrollably, mixing together. Her emotions were in turmoil. She tilted her head up and forcefully kissed Lou's lips—an invasive, aggressive kind of kiss.
It wasn't until she felt a sharp pain on her lip that she pulled away from Lou. Her lips were now a bright red, bitten by Lou.
"I remember telling you I don't kiss," Lou said, wiping her lips with the back of her hand. A crack appeared in her usually flawless facade.
Lin Sandie got up and looked at Lou. The bite on her lip infuriated her. The two things she hated most in life were being controlled and pain.
She suddenly grabbed Lou's hair, forcing her chin up slightly. Lin Sandie gripped her wrist firmly and kissed her again.
"Who else would kiss a psycho like you but me?" Lin Sandie taunted.
"…"
"…"
They kissed for a while. Lou, out of a self-destructive despair from her long and hopeless search; Lin Sandie, from an initial flutter of her heart to a deeper self-loathing for losing control.
In the end, it was Lou who pushed her away, considerate of Lin Sandie's feelings. She was afraid that if they continued, they would end up going all the way, and a sober Lin Sandie would be so ashamed and angry that she would never see her again.
"Are you even trying to control yourself, Lin Sandie? Do you want to kill me or sleep with me?" Although a blush had crept onto her face, Lou's words were still infuriatingly smug, as if she were the one who had initiated the intimacy.
Meanwhile, the actual initiator's face was burning. Lin Sandie awkwardly pushed Lou a little further away. Seeing that the strap of her tank top had slipped down her shoulder, her obsessive-compulsive tendencies kicked in, and she reached out to pull it back up.
"It's… it's all the 'Scorpion's' fault." Lin Sandie's ears were red, too. She avoided Lou's gaze, her fingertips brushing against Lou's warm shoulder as she adjusted the strap.
"It's messing with my perception of emotions."
Lou swallowed hard as she looked at Lin Sandie. Seeing a bead of blood welling up again where she had bitten her lip, she leaned in and placed her hand over Lin Sandie's. Taking the lack of resistance as consent, she extended her tongue and licked it away.
Lin Sandie remained perfectly still, her eyes half-closed and her lashes lowered, letting Lou lick the blood from her lip.
"You sleep in the other bed tonight. I really might lose control and kill you," Lin Sandie said. Not just her face, but her neck too was flushed crimson, yet she still tried to act as if nothing had happened as she ordered Lou around.
"As if you could kill me," Lou muttered, but she obediently got up and went to the other bed.
At that moment, Crow Miu, whose eyes were seeing stars from the display, finally spoke up in the "squad channel." "Pretending I don't exist, are we? And are you kidding me? Since when could an amateur like Lin Sandie launch a successful sneak attack on you?"
Caught, Lou's cheeks flushed. After a pause, she replied shamelessly in the "squad channel," "My mental defenses are getting weaker. Lin Sandie caught me off guard. It's her fault."
With that, she took the poetry collection she had placed under her pillow, intending to read it again, and put it back in her Space Bag. On the first page of the coverless book was another poem she had once written:
If the journey's end,
Is only to reunite with you,
Only to hear you say, "Long time no see,"
Only for you to give me a gentle embrace,
I would trade all my good fortune for that single moment,
Hoping only that you are still waiting for me at that destination.
If you are willing,
I will follow you without hesitation.
If you are not,
I can also return with no regrets.
Let me walk toward that end.
I will bow my head and thank all the help in this universe that let me reunite with you.
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