Monster - Chapter 75
Chapter 75: Despair Disease
After dinner, at Lou's invitation, the two of them took a night stroll through the deserted village, treating it as a way to digest their meal.
"Did you know, people from the other factions in Disorder Land call the Rose Society's president a Poser? It's because not only does he wear a suit every day, but every Rose Society member is also issued several suits to wear in rotation. It's the kind you have to wear." Lou walked lightly beside Lin Sandie, recounting some gossip she'd heard since entering Disorder Land.
"Suits are very practical. They aren't inconvenient for exercise, and when I just fell on the ground, the dust brushed right off." Lin Sandie, on the other hand, quite liked the convenient suit she was wearing. She had even packed two spare suits in the Space Bag that came with her light screen.
"I've scanned it. It's a secondary infection item." After saying this, Lou kindly explained the function of secondary infection items to Lin Sandie. The glasses Lin Sandie wore, which blocked the sight of monsters, were also secondary infection items.
"What are you doing next?" Lin Sandie saw Lou duck into a dark, narrow alley ahead and followed her. As they walked together through this harsh and difficult environment, the difference between them immediately became apparent. Lou's every move was natural and fluid. She instinctively knew where to step and where to walk, her judgments based on physical instinct, like a fish returning to the sea. Lin Sandie, however, felt constrained at every turn, worried about taking a wrong step.
"Going to Star City. What I need to do now is unlock the mystery. If the magical items I brought with me don't work, I'll just collect some usable ones here in Disorder Land." After exiting the short, narrow alley, the view suddenly opened up. Lin Sandie saw a bright, clear moon ahead, set in the ink-blue night sky, casting a faint halo over everything before her.
Unlike Taiyin Village, which was filled with the smell of damp decay, a mountain breeze here carried the faint, fresh scent of flowers.
Lin Sandie stared blankly for a few seconds. A scene like this was something one could never see in Center City, where artificial lights had long since drowned out the primordial glow of the stars and moon. Subconsciously, Lin Sandie took out her phone and snapped a few pictures of the view.
But Lou obviously hadn't brought her here to gaze at the moon. After emerging from the alley, she jumped down from a collapsed ledge ahead and turned back, holding out a hand to Lin Sandie.
"I'll take you to see the place where they bury the dead here."
"Okay." Lin Sandie came back to her senses, took Lou's hand, and jumped down as well.
They walked along a mountain path for a while longer. Lin Sandie followed Lou, carefully observing the scenery. Taiyin Village was built on the mountainside, but because it had been uninhabited for years, many parts had collapsed. The path they were on now seemed to wind around the side of the village toward the back mountain. On one side was a dense, overgrown thicket of mountain trees, and on the other was a steep cliff. After walking for a short time, Lin Sandie asked:
"Do people often come here to explore?"
"Are you asking why there's a path here?" Lou, as if she were a roundworm in Lin Sandie's stomach, easily guessed her real question. She continued, "People don't explore here often, but there must be some other reason why that monster couple appeared here just now. I've already walked through the village and found nothing suspicious, so this is the only place left."
Lin Sandie hummed a low "mm," then saw a crow suddenly fly over and land on Lou's shoulder.
"No monsters ahead," Lou relayed the message Miu the crow had brought back.
The two continued walking until the trees and the mountain blotted out the night sky. Lin Sandie turned on her night-vision light and saw that she and Lou had arrived at a cave.
It was called a cave, but it was merely a large, shallow depression in the mountainside. By turning up the night-vision light slightly, she could see to the back of the cave and make out the scene within this space shaped like a porcelain bowl tipped on its side.
Countless decaying coffins were stacked in layers along the cave walls, held up by sturdy wooden racks. Some, however, had fallen, scattering the bones, burial shrouds, and funerary masks from within across the ground. Lin Sandie glanced at the masks on the floor. They were carved from a special type of wood, complete with noses, mouths, and eyes, but the white material made them look like human skin peeled from a face, which was rather unsettling to look at.
In addition to being held up on racks, each of these coffins had a wooden frame in the shape of the character "艹" fixed on top, as if to prevent the lid from suddenly being pushed open from below.
Lin Sandie stood at the mouth of the cave, holding the night-vision light high. She looked up at the coffins suspended above. The warm white light enveloped her and Lou in an invisible barrier, sealing the grim, terrifying night outside their world.
"You were just taking pictures. Want to take one here, too?"
"..." Lin Sandie fell silent, wondering if taking a picture in this place at this time was a bit taboo. But Lou had already put an arm around her, taken the night-vision light from her hand, and gestured for her to get her phone.
Lin Sandie's personality wasn't actually as docile and orderly as she appeared, so she didn't struggle much. She really did take out her phone again and snapped a selfie with Lou, the gloomy tomb cave entrance in the background.
"Those things up there look like they could fall at any moment." After hastily taking a photo as a memento, Lin Sandie continued to assess whether it was safe to enter the cave.
"These are all people who died a long time ago. They won't mutate. There's no danger. Let's go look at that coffin." Lou's gaze swept halfway around before she pointed to a brand-new, vermilion coffin at the very back of the cave. It was resting on a low rack, looking as if it hadn't been placed there long ago.
Lin Sandie was also curious about the vermilion coffin that looked so different from the other decaying ones. She nodded and followed Lou. The two entered the cave, winding past the scattered dry bones and shattered coffins, until they reached the vermilion one. There was no wooden crossbar on top to prevent the corpse from reanimating. As she got closer, Lin Sandie noticed that this coffin was smaller than the others.
It was for someone who had died young.
Lou put on gloves, handed a mask to Lin Sandie, and put one on herself. With a few quick movements, she pushed open the coffin lid. A stench of decay washed over them, and they both took a few steps back, waiting for it to dissipate before approaching to look.
Lying quietly inside the vermilion coffin was a boy of twelve or thirteen. He was dressed in rather fashionable clothes, surrounded by dried flowers. On his face, he wore a superhero mask that all children love.
...The two of them stared at the mask, both silent for a moment.
"His name is Mo Xiaobei," Lou said after a scan. "Died of leukemia."
"He's the child of that monster couple."
"Mm." Lou closed the coffin lid again. "They probably turned into monsters because their child got sick. I'll go bring them over and bury them together."
"Okay." The two left the cave and headed back toward Taiyin Village.
"But is there any point in doing this?" Lin Sandie asked. Ever since the 'Scorpion' was installed, her entire demeanor had become much colder than before.
In Lin Sandie's view, since Lou had killed the monster couple with her own hands, doing something like this now seemed superfluous, no matter how you looked at it.
"It's meaningless," Lou said, taking the night-vision light and walking ahead. "I don't need to do these things to prove what kind of person I am. But I'm still going to do it, because doing it makes me feel good."
"You're not doing this out of regret, but because it feels good?"
"Of course. It's a form of enjoyment, Lin Sandie."
For a moment, Lin Sandie didn't know what to say. Should she say Lou was unconventional and only followed her heart, or that her callousness was merely superficial?
"When you've been a Sentinel for a long time, some things naturally disappear, and some things remain. For example, the education you received as a child forged you. And even after you've grown up and experienced many things that make you no longer agree with what forged you, you'll still subconsciously follow those things to maintain your own foundation. That's an imprint." In the darkness, Lou's voice took on a calming quality. "When I do these things, I feel good."
"Is this related to the palace you mentioned before?"
"Yes. If you really become a Guide, there are some things you should know beforehand. Sometimes, useless emotions and meaningless actions are what distinguish you from others, what distinguish humans from beasts."
"Then I'm already a beast, worse than a monster that has feelings," Lin Sandie said self-deprecatingly.
Lou paused, then smiled and took Lin Sandie's arm.
"You're a beautiful beast, so I still want to play house with you~"
The mountain path was difficult to walk. Caught off guard by the linked arm, Lin Sandie swayed a little but didn't push Lou away.
"The road to the palace is hard to find and hard to walk. You might even crash and fall off a cliff. Oh, right..." Lou seemed to suddenly remember something. She took a thick stack of papers from her Space Bag and handed it to Lin Sandie. "This is Sui Xi's investigation report on humans mutating into monsters. It says that the reason people become monsters is most likely because of despair."
The report was too thick, and there was obviously no opportunity for Lin Sandie to read it in detail now. She put it in her Space Bag and asked, "Is it the same as your own deduction?"
Lin Sandie knew that Lou was in Leviathan to carry out a mission related to the monsters, so she would naturally have her own opinions.
"After reading her report, I was reminded of a book I read before." Lou led Lin Sandie as they continued walking back, her voice echoing softly in the silent mountain valley. "There's a line in it that goes, 'The sickness unto death is to be unable to die, yet without hope of life. In this state, hopelessness means not even having the last hope, which is death. When death is the greatest danger, one hopes for life; but when one becomes aware of a more terrifying danger, one hopes for death. Therefore, when the danger is so great that death becomes one's hope, despair is the hopelessness of being unable to obtain it.' (Note 1)"
"That sentence should summarize what Sui Xi gave me." Lou sometimes sounded like a philosopher.
"The foundation of Leviathan's existence is something called the 'Tree.' And the reason Leviathan's citizens have developed this large-scale, contagious despair that turns them into monsters is also because something has gone wrong with the 'Tree.'"
"I'm not sure what the 'Tree' looks like, but it's definitely not as simple as something that looks like an ordinary tree."
"In my opinion, Leviathan itself is also a monster, and its mutated citizens are like something it swallowed and then spat back out." Lou used another rather peculiar metaphor.
"...Are you a philosopher?" Lin Sandie asked, looking at her. She remembered Lou had the same mystical air when she was explaining how to "close the palace gates."
Lou laughed. "I'm telling the truth! Hmph! You, Lin Sandie, how dare you mock me!"
"Say something I can understand." Lin Sandie sighed softly, not annoyed at Lou, but at her own restless heart.
"Let me put it this way. Despair isn't an acute condition; it's a chronic illness. Like that couple today. Their child was sick, so they couldn't seek death. They even had to be stronger than usual. But inside, they despaired because there was no hope of a cure for their child. That's why they mutated into monsters the moment he died. That's despair."
"Of course, some people don't become monsters because of this kind of great love. It's because even in despair, survival is the instinct of every living being. Becoming a monster and letting oneself go is probably a way of compromising with oneself."
Lin Sandie listened in silence. This side of Lou was new and surprising to her.
"I understand. But even knowing this, you don't hesitate when you kill monsters?"
"Want me to tell you a piece of knowledge for Main World Sentinels and Guides?" Lou didn't answer, asking a question in return.
"Go on."
"When we enter a Tower World to carry out a mission, we have to make a pact with the god who issues the mission. It's a bottom line that we must adhere to while operating in the Tower World."
"What's your bottom line for this mission in Leviathan?" Lin Sandie asked cooperatively.
"I only kill monsters, never humans. Other than that, I do as I please. Monsters may have become what they are because of a tragic past, but I can't save them either."
Lin Sandie nodded.
"You can set a bottom line for yourself too, Lin Sandie. For example, you must never harm the adorable Lou Lou~"
A crack finally appeared on Lin Sandie's perpetually expressionless face. The corners of her mouth turned up as she looked at Lou, who was insisting on snuggling up to her while walking through the desolate mountains. "Why are you so vain?"
"You're welcome~~" Lou gave Lin Sandie a comical nod and bow. "It's a compliment to you, too, isn't it?"
"Then I'm truly overwhelmed by the favor."
Bickering, the two returned to Taiyin Village. Lou used the points she had earned in Disorder Land to buy two coffins. Then, Lin Sandie helped her move the monster couple into their respective coffins. Lou transferred the coffins into the Space Bag she had from the Main World and brought them back to the cave, placing them next to the vermilion one.
Lin Sandie didn't go with her this time. Lou placed the coffins, made a deep bow to them, and said, "Now we don't owe each other anything. I'll make good use of the bracelet. Your family can have a proper reunion in the Nine Netherworlds."
When Lou returned to Taiyin Village, she saw that Lin Sandie was already asleep in her sleeping bag. She had taken off her suit jacket and folded it neatly to the side, placing her glasses on top of it. Curled up in the sleeping bag, she looked like a cocoon.
Lou checked the time on her phone and saw it was only 10:30. Lin Sandie's sleep schedule was comparable to an old person's.
I wanted to tease her some more... Lou sat to the side, watching Lin Sandie's sleeping face with a hint of regret.
Not wanting to disturb Lin Sandie's sweet dreams, Lou raised her hand to summon the light screen from the Main World and checked the items in her Space Bag. Her Space Bag was large, but it was already filled with all sorts of rabbit-related items.
"I'm leaving for a bit. Little Crow, you take the first half of the night watch."
"Where are you going?"
"The Nine Netherworlds. My Space Bag is almost full. I'm going there to clear it out." Sitting on a rock, Lou closed her eyes, and her spirit left her body.
Her vision was quickly enveloped in a thick fog. When Lou opened her eyes again, she found herself standing on pitch-black ground. Her emotions became extremely dull in that moment, as if she were a walking corpse. Lou looked around and saw some blurry figures in the distant wilderness. They were walking slowly, passing through the dense fog.
Lou instinctively walked toward them, following in their footsteps, one step at a time, until she heard the sound of waves crashing against the shore. Only then did a bit of life return to her previously vacant eyes.
She left the dead and walked toward the source of the sound. After walking for an unknown amount of time, an endless black sea appeared before her. The water churned with white foam, rising and falling. A person dressed all in black, their age and gender indiscernible, sat by the edge of the black sea, fishing with a bamboo hat on their head.
Lou paid the other person no mind and simply strode to the shore. A bitter wind blew against her face. As if in a dream, she opened the Space Bag that had long been bound to her soul with a magical item and emptied all the rabbit-related items inside into the black sea.
The rabbit items were swept into the black seawater and quickly vanished, as if they had never been there at all.
Tower World: Aztec.
Lin Sandie thought blankly about everything that had happened today. She remembered that she had actually shot at Lou, who had just saved her again. She remembered biting her on the face. She thought of the innocent look in Lou's eyes as she held her cheek. She remembered how she had shamelessly and naturally relied on Lou, taking advantage of her affection, and had even used that affection while planning to kill her. Lin Sandie's entire rabbit-self felt terrible. A tidal wave of shame washed over her, making her wish she could dig a hole and bury herself in it.
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