Monster - Chapter 40
Chapter 40: Fury
After eating two star candies, Lin Sandie saw the boy who fed them to her looking greatly encouraged, his handsome face flushing slightly. The pain was too intense for her to dwell on the reason for his reaction; she simply sent him away before Yan Ting arrived. She knew, of course, that candy wouldn't help her pain in the slightest, but she couldn't resist trying.
The doctor who had seen her said he had prescribed painkillers, but no one had brought them yet. She guessed the doctor was afraid she would fall back asleep after the pain subsided and wanted to wait for Yan Ting to arrive before giving her the medication.
After the boy left, Lin Sandie's gaze fell upon the jar of star candies he had left on the nightstand. She felt a flicker of gratitude. Although she had encountered many terrible things, there were always people who showed her kindness. Like Xing Meilu just now. They were practically strangers, yet Xing Meilu had solemnly promised to guarantee her safety with her own life and fortune if Lin Sandie were to identify Yan Ting.
Lin Sandie was genuinely moved. For so many years, she had lived in the cage Yan Ting had built for her. Not once had a single person appeared and told her, you can trust me. Even "Glory Road," which had given her the glasses, had bluntly told her not to trust anyone or rely on any organization.
Four years. More than 1,500 days. Lin Sandie had faced the monstrous Yan Ting alone, watching as she eliminated, one by one, every person who showed her the slightest kindness. And she was powerless. It was only after a long time that she realized those people had died because of her. They vanished like splashes of water, leaving her utterly unprepared.
Lin Sandie's refusal of Xing Meilu's offer wasn't because she didn't trust her, but because she was afraid that if she gave in, she would recklessly start to depend on her. She would beg Xing Meilu to save her. But she couldn't do that. It would drag Xing Meilu into a deeper, darker vortex. If someone showed her kindness, then she should repay it with the highest form of goodwill: she would absolutely not let Yan Ting harm the kind-hearted Xing Meilu.
Gazing silently out the window, Lin Sandie considered her next move. The glasses on the bridge of her nose suddenly reminded her of something. Puzzled, she took them off to inspect them. The frames were very similar to her old ones, but not identical. If Yan Ting had been the one to change them, she would have replaced the entire thing, including the lenses that shielded her from seeing monsters. But the glasses hadn't failed when she saw that woman, Saya McConaughey.
A deep suspicion took root in Lin Sandie. With difficulty, she reached for the nightstand drawer. Inside was a thin envelope. Lin Sandie took it out and extracted the photograph within.
On the back of the photo, a phone number was clearly written.
It was as if an electric current shot through her body. The photograph slipped from Lin Sandie's fingertips.
That woman, who for some reason looked exactly like her, had come to see her. And she knew the secret of the glasses!
Just then, Lin Sandie heard the sound of high heels clicking on the floor outside. She took a deep breath and, enduring the pain, stuffed the blood-stained photograph and the envelope under her pillow.
The door to the hospital room opened. Lin Sandie turned her head and saw Yan Ting, dressed in a striped suit with her long hair tied up, looking crisp and capable.
"San San, are you okay?" Yan Ting glanced at the jar of star candies on the nightstand before sitting on the folding chair by the bed, her face etched with worry.
Lin Sandie said nothing, merely staring at Yan Ting with an icy gaze. Ever since she had seen the other woman for the monster she was, she had rarely displayed such coldness in her presence. She was always restrained and orderly, like a mountain unmoved by anything. But the emotion she now revealed was like terrifying magma churning beneath the earth's crust, chilling one to the bone.
"I know you're angry with me, but it couldn't be helped. I looked for many people, but that woman, Lou, is just too destructive. They needed an outlet…" Yan Ting gently took hold of Lin Sandie's wrist.
"Yan Ting, to you, does 'love' mean you can take my dignity, my freedom, change my personality, my hope, and then my life belongs to you too? To be sacrificed for you at any time?"
Hearing Lin Sandie's question, Yan Ting's brow furrowed. She answered with relative calm, "It's not my fault. And you shouldn't have too much contact with Xing Meilu. It will make you a suspect."
"Am I a suspect because you're doing suspicious things? Am I a suspect because we're connected?" Lin Sandie's voice rose. For the first time in four years, she was showing that she wanted nothing more to do with Yan Ting.
"Do you think you can still sever ties with me?!" Yan Ting shot back the moment the words left Lin Sandie's mouth, her tone turning glacial.
"So just because I once loved you, I have to give my life for you? President Yan." Lin Sandie looked at Yan Ting calmly, her rain-colored eyes devoid of any emotion. "I know you were there when I was fighting for my life. Did you clap? Did you cheer?"
"Don't speak to me in such a sharp, sarcastic tone! Do you think I haven't tried?"
"And then what? Xing Meilu said the video of me fighting is everywhere. Those people are clamoring for me to fight again. After all your 'trying,' do I not have to fight again?!"
"I said I would try! Why do you still talk to me like this!?" Yan Ting was thoroughly enraged by Lin Sandie. Her grip on Lin Sandie's hand tightened. "You know I only love you! But what about you? I know you loved me! I felt your love! So why do you care about the judgment of the world? You, why! Why can't you just obediently keep loving me! Is your love so unable to withstand a test?!"
As Yan Ting spoke, her eyes grew red. Lin Sandie's accusations made her feel deeply wronged. "I've been trying so hard. I want a better future! I want to change all this, so we can walk in the sunlight openly!"
"But, but why did you stop loving me? Lin Sandie, that's what makes me despair, you know? No matter what I did afterward, I found that… you didn't love me anymore…"
Lin Sandie violently yanked her hand free. The movement was so abrupt that blood began to seep from her wounds, staining her white hospital gown red.
"Greedy, selfish, unfaithful, and numb. I have too many reasons not to love you, Yan Ting! What makes you think I have to love you unconditionally?" Lin Sandie's beautiful face flushed red, no longer able to maintain her composure.
"Yan Ting! Let me tell you, even if you didn't get married, even if you were completely obedient to me, even if you gave me countless riches, my love, Lin Sandie's love, has always come with all sorts of conditions. Everyone thinks I was the one reaching above my station for you, but in reality, you were the one reaching for me. You don't deserve my love. For anyone to keep my love, they should be more careful, more insecure, more cooperative with me! Respect me! And you actually think I must still love you after you've done all sorts of disgusting things to me?"
"You make me utterly sick!"
Veins bulged on Yan Ting's wrist. She slowly rose to her feet, struggling to control the rage boiling inside her, but her eyes couldn't help but glare at Lin Sandie with hatred.
"You've become twisted. I didn't know you had become so twisted…"
"Get out!" Lin Sandie grabbed the jar of star candies and hurled it at Yan Ting, cutting her off. The jar struck Yan Ting on the head. The lid popped off, and colorful star candies scattered across the floor, rolling with a soft rustling sound. A few of them glittered brightly in the sunlight streaming through the window.
"…You're furious because of the 'performance,' I understand." At this point, seeing the volcanic eruption that was Lin Sandie, Yan Ting's tone softened, though she remained steadfast in her own views and actions. "But I love you, Lin Sandie. Regardless, I can't stop this myself anymore…"
Lin Sandie panted, her eyes red-rimmed. A fine sheen of sweat beaded on her forehead from the pain.
"I'll come see you again," Yan Ting said before turning to leave. Lin Sandie watched her go, then clutched her injured side and slowly lay back down on the bed.
Their conversation had devolved into two people talking past each other. Lin Sandie had no desire to be gentle anymore. She just wanted to vent, to have no further communication with Yan Ting whatsoever.
Lin Sandie believed that all people were born equal and free. She was a rational person, capable of seeing many things clearly. All this time, she had been paying Yan Ting with her own freedom because she believed the benefits and fear Yan Ting brought were within an acceptable range. She was willing to trade her freedom for it. But Yan Ting's actions had now crossed that line. Yan Ting was no longer beneficial to her and had become a serious threat. For Yan Ting, Lin Sandie now had nothing left but a cold heart.
Leaving the room with a dark expression, Yan Ting found Lin Sandie's attending physician at the front desk.
"Besides those two police inspectors, who else has seen her?"
"Only the child of the patient next door. Uh, the candy was also a gift from that boy." The private room had a surveillance camera, but it was a standard hospital installation and inconvenient to check. So, for the sake of monitoring, the doctor had planted a listening device near Lin Sandie's bed. Seeing his benefactor's gloomy face, he answered with increasing deference, "That Officer Xing wanted Miss Lin to identify… some things, and said she would protect Miss Lin, but she refused."
"Anything else?"
"Miss Lin asked Officer Xing about Lou. Officer Xing told her about the murders of Cheng Lina and Feng Li. She found Lou's citizen ID, but the address and personal history are fake. It's said that Lou might be hiding in the Black Goat Walled City. Miss Lin said she would help the Inspectorate find Lou."
"I see."
Yan Ting suddenly recalled what Lin Sandie had just said: "For anyone to keep my love, they should be more careful, more insecure, more cooperative with me! Respect me!" Such twisted, arrogant words also served as confirmation that Lin Sandie looked down on Xing Meilu.
Lin Sandie looked down on everyone now, including herself.
A wave of irritation washed over Yan Ting. She fought the urge to unleash her anger, then looked down at the medicine in the doctor's hand and asked, "What's this?"
"Painkillers. Miss Lin has been complaining of pain since she woke up this morning."
"Give her the medicine whenever she says she's in pain from now on. She's most afraid of pain…" After giving these instructions, Yan Ting left the hospital, looking utterly lost.
Lou, on her way to the amusement park, saw everything through Miu the crow's surveillance feed. She deeply sympathized with Lin Sandie's views on love. It was easy to fall in love with someone for a short time, but loving someone for a long time was a very difficult thing.
Besides parents who might love their children unconditionally, love between any two people at any time is conditional. The reason various works of art praise unconditional love is because it is great, and therefore worthy of praise.
Lou never believed in love without a reason. For example, her current favorable feelings for Lin Sandie had started because she looked exactly like her and had a pleasant scent. Now, it was also because she possessed an attractive temperament, and her views on certain things seemed to align with her own…
Lou rested her chin on her hand, carefully analyzing her feelings for Lin Sandie, but ultimately stopped, feeling she was being too self-absorbed. In any case, she would wait until Lin Sandie broke up with her. Lou had considered helping Lin Sandie solve her problems herself, but after seeing what was written in Xu Yao's Notebook about Lin Sandie possibly harming Yan Ting, and after witnessing her fierce outburst today, Lou no longer wanted to get involved in their affairs.
Although some of her previous actions might have influenced Lin Sandie, the latter didn't seem truly weak. She was taking control of the things she could. Lou shouldn't disrupt her original plans. In this regard, Lou had quite good manners.
I wonder if Lin Sandie will call me~~ Lou thought with anticipation.
"Lin Sandie said the video was spread everywhere. Look up what video it is," Miu the crow interrupted Lou's wandering thoughts.
"I don't know how to find it…" Lou took out her phone, looking lost.
"You have money, you stu—, baby!" Miu the crow swallowed the word "stupid." With its current understanding of Lou, if it called her stupid right now, it would be left out of all the upcoming amusement park fun.
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