Our Love, A Public Service - Chapter 83
Extra: Ning Qian and Wen Jin (1)
Thick blackout curtains covered the floor-to-ceiling windows, a sliver of sunlight peeking through, casting a bright streak across the gray carpet, revealing the sunny day outside.
The lingering smell of alcohol permeated the room.
Ning Qian sat up on the sofa, her head throbbing. She rubbed her forehead, then noticing the half-empty glass of liquor on the coffee table, she thought, last night must have been the last time she drank for Wen Jin.
Torn photographs lay scattered on the carpet.
Even the fragmented images in the dim light were enough to conjure up that face in Ning Qian's mind. It was the only picture she had of herself and Wen Jin together, from their university photo album.
Young and carefree, in their prime.
It had been Ning Qian's most treasured photograph, now torn to shreds in a drunken frenzy last night.
She still remembered her first encounter with Wen Jin vividly. It was at the freshman orientation, the most beautiful and aloof goddess of their department sitting next to her.
"I'm… Ning Qian."
"Wen Jin."
Initially, Ning Qian hadn't dared to even think about liking Wen Jin, simply admiring her from afar, her heart pounding even just talking to her. Later, as they interacted more, a certain feeling began to develop. Ning Qian thought it was impossible not to be captivated by Wen Jin, her beauty and elegant demeanor so alluring.
Ning Qian approached Wen Jin under the guise of friendship, but she hadn't dared to pursue her, knowing she was just one of Wen Jin's many admirers, and Wen Jin wasn't even interested in women.
One-sided love, perhaps meaningless in the other person's eyes, Ning Qian understood this. Even so, she was still hopelessly in love, sometimes, even just a polite smile from Wen Jin was enough to fuel her fantasies.
Her resignation, due to various reasons, had been delayed until April.
Leaving Wen Jin this time, Ning Qian didn't feel the same reluctance as she did when she went abroad years ago, perhaps because she had finally gotten her answer; Wen Jin was never going to be hers. All these years, she hadn't dared to confess, afraid of this day, the day her dreams would shatter, but it had finally arrived.
Perhaps only after letting go of the past could she truly move on.
Ning Qian leaned back against the sofa, thinking about the events of the past few months, including that night with Wen Jin. Trying to be optimistic, it wasn't all bad, she had slept with her goddess after all! Ning Qian found various ways to comfort herself, at least for that one night, she had felt Wen Jin's love, even if it was just an illusion.
The events of that night, like a bucket of cold water, had shocked her into sobriety. Her love for Wen Jin had been too obsessive, too humble, love shouldn't be like that…
So, it was over.
Ning Qian stood up and opened the curtains, the sunlight dispelling the gloom in the room, and hopefully, the gloom in her heart as well. She leaned against the windowsill, looking out at the distance.
This time, she truly wanted to move on.
Reaching for her phone to check the time, Ning Qian realized it had been turned off last night, still dead.
Just then, the doorbell rang.
Ning Qian dragged herself to the door.
It was Wen Jin. Ning Qian froze for a moment, then opened the door. The more she avoided Wen Jin, the more it showed she cared, so starting today, she would no longer care, no longer hide.
The weather was slightly warmer today, a hint of early summer in the air.
Wen Jin, standing at the door, seemed to have rushed over. Seeing Ning Qian, she said, a sense of relief in her voice, "I'm glad you're home."
Ning Qian turned on her phone; it was already 11 AM. She hadn't gone to work, hadn't even called in sick, having disappeared for half a day. Her phone was flooded with messages and missed calls.
Mostly from Wen Jin.
"Why didn't you go to work today? And you didn't answer your phone."
Wen Jin's voice was filled with concern, but Ning Qian's reply was casual. "My phone died, and I overslept because I wasn't feeling well."
Ning Qian's coldness made Wen Jin feel awkward. She could faintly smell alcohol on Ning Qian's breath, and after a moment of silence, she asked, "Why were you drinking if you're not feeling well? You should be resting."
"I'll go to the office this afternoon." Ning Qian's voice was weak. She didn't invite Wen Jin in. "If there's nothing else, President Wen, you can leave now."
"What's wrong?" Seeing Ning Qian's pale lips, Wen Jin stepped closer and reached out to touch her forehead. "Are you feverish…?"
"Don't touch me." Ning Qian turned her head away, brushing Wen Jin's hand off.
The atmosphere between them was tense and awkward.
"Qianqian…" Wen Jin didn't want to see Ning Qian like this. She used to be so optimistic and cheerful, now she was like a different person. Wen Jin knew it was because of her, and she felt terrible, not just guilt, but something more.
Ning Qian lowered her gaze. "I'm fine, just go."
"There's something I want to talk to you about." Wen Jin didn't leave, having been thinking about this for a while, wanting to tell Ning Qian how she felt.
"What?"
Wen Jin looked at Ning Qian and finally said, "Can you give me a chance?"
"A chance… for what?" Ning Qian knew what Wen Jin meant, but she still asked. That morning in bed, after she had humbled herself, begging Wen Jin to accept her, only to be met with a "I'm married," it had been a final rejection.
"Let's acknowledge what happened between us." Wen Jin explained. Neither she nor Ning Qian could pretend that night never happened, knowing their relationship had changed, unable to simply go back to being friends.
"You mean… date?"
Wen Jin didn't know how to answer; they had both hurt each other.
Ning Qian, suppressing her pain, asked, "Do you like me?"
From friendship to romantic love between two women. Wen Jin couldn't answer immediately, her relationship with Ning Qian had truly confused her.
"You're only saying this now because we slept together, right?" Ning Qian didn't give Wen Jin a chance to reply. Thinking back to that night, Wen Jin had seemed more like she was indulging herself. "Or are you just unhappy in your marriage and looking for someone to… fill the void…?"
Wen Jin was stunned.
Ning Qian didn't know how she had blurted out those words, her anger getting the better of her. Marriage was a sensitive topic for Wen Jin, a wound she was now reopening, rubbing salt into it.
"I was too impulsive, it was my fault, I deserve this." Mentioning that night, Ning Qian felt a pang of pain, her composure crumbling. She pushed Wen Jin away. "Just leave, please, I have my own life, stop bothering me! I don't like you that much, don't flatter yourself, it's annoying!"
Wen Jin stood there in silence for a moment, then said softly, "Get some rest," and left, looking dejected.
Having lashed out at Wen Jin for the first time, Ning Qian leaned her forehead against the wall, her heart aching. It took time to forget someone, especially someone she had cared about for ten years. After what she had said today, Wen Jin wouldn't contact her again.
Once you made up your mind, moving on was just a matter of time.
Wen Jin sat in her car, her hand on the ignition, but she didn't start the car. They had agreed to pretend nothing happened, which would have been the best solution, but she couldn't help but seek Ning Qian out, repeatedly. Wen Jin asked herself, was her attachment to Ning Qian because of love? Or guilt over that night? Or gratitude for Ning Qian's silent companionship?
She wasn't thinking clearly.
At the beginning of May, Ning Qian left AS. Wen Jin didn't know anything about her anymore, their relationship reduced to a polite nod of acknowledgment if they happened to run into each other. They had agreed to not interfere in each other's lives, and they had kept their word.
Ning Qian didn't stay in L City. Although it was a beautiful city, it held too many painful memories, so she moved to a different city, for a fresh start. With her experience and qualifications, finding a well-paying job in a first-tier city wasn't difficult.
Her love life remained uneventful. She had gone on a few blind dates, some of them successful, some with good personalities, some beautiful, but nothing serious. Spending half her day working, she didn't have the time or energy for romance, and being single for so long, Ning Qian had come to enjoy her own company.
Life was simple and peaceful, similar to before, but she no longer blamed Wen Jin for her single status. That persistent longing had finally started to fade…
The following May, Ning Qian returned to L City for their university reunion, a triennial event she always attended. Ning Qian was sentimental and had been the most popular person in their department back then.
It had been almost ten years since they graduated.
Reunited, many of the guys had gained weight, the girls were mostly married, and Ning Qian, everyone said she looked even more beautiful now. Back then, in their department full of beautiful women, she hadn't stood out, but now, she was the most elegant and sophisticated among them.
Chatter and laughter filled the private room, glasses clinking.
"We have a mystery guest joining us tonight."
"Who?"
"Remember the goddess of our department, Wen Jin?"
"Wen Jin? I haven't seen her in years…"
"Really? She's coming? That's a first."
Even after a year, hearing that name still made Ning Qian's heart skip a beat. She hadn't expected to see Wen Jin at the reunion; Wen Jin never attended these events.
"Qianqian, you haven't forgotten about your goddess, have you?"
Ning Qian gave an awkward smile, her hand freezing on her glass, trying to appear calm.
The noisy room suddenly quieted down, then erupted in greetings as Ning Qian looked up and saw Wen Jin standing at the entrance, her gaze fixed on Ning Qian.
After a year, she hadn't changed a bit.
Seeing that face, Ning Qian's mind went blank, the chatter around her fading into background noise.
"Wen Jin, sit here." The class president greeted her enthusiastically, leading her to the empty seat next to Ning Qian…
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