Mr. Lizard Outside the Window - Chapter 32
Chapter 32: Just Tell Me What to Do
"So why is he avoiding you?" Shang Xiaoyue, unable to contain her curiosity any longer, turned around from the front row. "Is he embarrassed? Or…?"
Banxia knew what she was really asking. It was the same question that had been plaguing her for days.
She wasn't feeling particularly shy about discussing this topic. In fact, she wasn't sure how a girl was "supposed" to feel in this situation.
She just wanted to untangle the confused mess of thoughts in her head.
"I don't think…he dislikes me," Banxia concluded.
Three heads immediately turned towards her, their eyes wide with curiosity.
"He's avoiding me, yes, but he bought me that beautiful dress. And he still makes me delicious food every day," Banxia recounted, ticking off the evidence on her fingers.
Pan Xuemei practically jumped out of her seat, grabbing Banxia's shoulders and shaking her. "So he's the one who's been making you all that food?! And you kept it from me?! Xia! I can't believe you! You traitor!"
"Ow, ow, stop shaking me! I shared it with you, didn't I?" Banxia protested.
"If that's the case, he's probably just shy. Just give him some space," Qiao Xin advised. "Girls shouldn't be too forward. It makes us look desperate. You have to wait for him to make the first move."
"I disagree," Shang Xiaoyue countered. "If he's shy, you should be more proactive! Just tell him how you feel! Get it over with! Why torture yourself with uncertainty? You should always be in control of your own life!"
Banxia looked at Pan Xuemei expectantly.
Pan Xuemei shrugged. "Don't look at me. I have no experience in this area. I can't give you any advice."
Banxia turned to Qiao Xin and Shang Xiaoyue hopefully. "You two must have some experience, right?"
Shang Xiaoyue and Qiao Xin exchanged glances, suddenly looking awkward.
"Not really. It's all theoretical."
"I'm…too busy for relationships."
The three friends looked at Banxia expectantly. "We just want to know what this long-legged, slender-waisted, pale-skinned, handsome cook looks like!"
"Show us! What does a 'house husband' look like?"
"Yes, show us!"
Banxia had always considered herself decisive and resilient.
But for the past few days, she had been plagued by indecision and anxiety, a state of constant internal turmoil she had never experienced before.
When she was little and had wanted to learn the violin, despite her family's objections, she had stubbornly persisted, sneaking into her neighbor's house to listen to his music lessons.
Her neighbor had finally taken her by the hand and gone to talk to her mother.
"This child has perfect pitch. She's incredibly gifted. It would be a shame not to nurture her talent."
After much deliberation, her mother had finally relented, selling her only ring to buy Banxia a cheap violin.
When Banxia was in eighth grade, her mother passed away. Her relatives had urged her to give up on music.
"Your mother is gone. Who's going to pay for your expensive music lessons? You can forget about your uncle's money. That's our hard-earned money!" her aunt had exclaimed.
Despite the harsh words, Banxia hadn't resented her aunt. She knew that with her mother gone, no one was obligated to support her.
But she was stubborn, determined to continue her studies. With her grandmother's help, she had worked part-time to pay for her education and eventually got into the music academy.
Sometimes, Banxia felt like she was her namesake, the banxia herb – wild, tenacious, even a little poisonous. She had always pursued what she wanted, never backing down.
But this time, she was hesitant, unsure how to approach the situation with Xiao Lian. She couldn't bring herself to let him go, but she was afraid of ruining their friendship if her feelings weren't reciprocated.
Her heart felt like it was being slowly roasted over a low flame, a constant, agonizing burn.
It was unbearable.
That afternoon, during her private lesson with Professor Yu, all her anxieties and uncertainties poured out through her music.
The initial joy of their first encounter.
The fluttering excitement of finding him in the bamboo grove.
The restless nights, the uncertainty, the longing.
It was a new experience, bittersweet, a mixture of joy and sorrow, hope and despair.
She played the Tchaikovsky concerto with a newfound tenderness, the melody filled with the longing of a young woman in love.
Yu Anguo was delighted. "The emotional expression is perfect!"
"The brilliance of the first movement, the lyricism of the second, the rhythmic drive of the third… all infused with such delicate emotion," the usually stern professor beamed. "Excellent! This is a truly unique and compelling interpretation of the Tchaikovsky concerto."
"So that's the feeling he was talking about," Banxia murmured, putting away her violin. "Now I understand. How frustrating."
"Wait, Banxia. Do you have a dress for the competition?" Yu Anguo asked, stopping her as she was about to leave.
He remembered her wearing her everyday coat at the selection round.
Paired with Ling Dong's princely accompaniment, she had been dubbed "Rongyin's Cinderella" on the school forum.
"My wife has many dresses from her younger days. She said you can choose one if you like."
It was probably the first time he had ever offered to provide a student with concert attire.
But the young woman seemed even more dejected. "Thank you, Professor. Thank you, Mrs. Yu. But I already have a dress."
She bowed and left, her shoulders slumped.
He gives me a beautiful dress, cooks delicious food for me, but refuses to talk to me, refuses to explain anything! What does he want from me?! Banxia fumed, her frustration growing.
"Maybe I shouldn't have encouraged her to explore this style," Professor Yu, watching her dejected figure, began to question his teaching methods. "She's turned the Tchaikovsky concerto into… this. I should have just told her to stick to the score."
That evening, Banxia didn't have to work, but she didn't want to go home.
She took the subway to South Lake and started playing her violin in her usual spot.
In the cold winter night, the mournful melody of her violin echoed across the lake.
A young man, holding a single red rose, hurried across the street and placed the flower in her violin case.
South Lake was a popular spot for young people, especially at night. Flower sellers and romantic gestures were common. Banxia occasionally received flowers from strangers.
"I… I often hear you play here. I… I really like your music," the young man stammered, his face flushed, then turned and fled.
He said he often listened to her play, but Banxia, always lost in her music, had never noticed him before.
The man's face was bright red, the color spreading down his neck, his heart pounding. He stumbled on the steps as he hurried away, almost falling.
Confessing your feelings takes courage, Banxia thought.
And if it's unrequited, if the other person is completely oblivious… it must be heartbreaking.
Banxia continued playing, her music echoing across the lake.
The street was bustling with people, everyone laughing and chatting, as if there were no such thing as sadness in the world.
She suddenly stopped playing, feeling a pang of frustration.
Sadness, embarrassment… whatever it is, I need to get this sorted out, she thought. I can't keep living like this.
A sports car pulled up beside her. The driver rolled down the window, his face surprised. "Banxia? What are you doing here?" It was Wei Zhiming.
Banxia glanced at him, then gestured at her violin case with its scattered coins and a single red rose. "Working."
Wei Zhiming had never met anyone as perpetually broke as Banxia. And yet, somehow, she always managed to make him feel inadequate. It was infuriating.
"Pack up. Let me treat you to supper. You treated me last time. It's my turn."
Wei Zhiming's choice of restaurant was, of course, upscale.
Elegant decor, attentive waiters, beautifully presented dishes.
Mango brûlée, beef sashimi, pan-seared foie gras, mille-feuille, sparkling water… the dishes arrived one after another.
The delicious food soothed Banxia's troubled heart, her anxieties temporarily forgotten.
The restaurant's lighting was dim, soft music playing in the background. The waiters were discreet, the other diners conversing in hushed tones.
Banxia, sitting in this elegant setting, her plate clean, twirled her glass of sparkling water, a rare blush on her cheeks, her lips parting several times as if she wanted to say something, but couldn't quite bring herself to do so.
Seeing her blush, Wei Zhiming's heart skipped a beat. Does she…like me?
The thought filled him with a mixture of pride and excitement.
I knew it! I'm irresistible! Even a talented violinist like her can't resist my charm!
What if she confesses her feelings? Should I accept? This is so complicated!
But she's actually quite cute. And she's straightforward, easy to get along with, like a bro.
I've never dated a girl like her. Maybe I should…
"There's something… I need your advice on," Banxia finally blurted out, after much hesitation. "I… I like someone, and I want to tell him how I feel, but I don't know how to do it without scaring him away."
"None of my friends have any experience with this kind of thing. You're the… expert, so I thought I'd ask you."
Wei Zhiming's excitement evaporated, replaced by a sour disappointment. "Who is he? Someone who needs you to confess your feelings?" he asked, his voice laced with disbelief.
"He's amazing. I really like him," Banxia said, her usual shamelessness returning.
Amazing, huh? Wei Zhiming thought skeptically. There are plenty of amazing men in the world. He can't be better than Ling Dong, the guy who accompanied you at the competition.
"Asking me is pointless. I've only ever dated girls. I have no idea how to confess to a man."
"It's the same thing! People are people!" Banxia said earnestly. "Just tell me what to do."
Wei Zhiming sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Fine, I'll tell you what I know. But don't blame me if it backfires."
Banxia leaned closer, listening intently.
Wei Zhiming looked around, then lowered his voice. "Humans aren't very rational creatures. Most of the time, actions speak louder than words. You don't need a grand confession. Just set the mood, and then… make your move."
He made a chopping motion with his hand. "If he doesn't explicitly reject you, then go for it! Seal the deal! And then sweet-talk him, shower him with compliments. You'll have him wrapped around your little finger."
Banxia considered this, then nodded seriously. He might be a bit of a player, she thought, but his advice is more practical than what the girls suggested. And it suits my personality.
Thank you for reading this series! Just here to inform you guys that I’ve adjusted the settings to allow anonymous comments. I’d love to hear your thoughts, so feel free to engage in discussions about the chapter in the comment section below! Your support means a lot!
Thank you for the chapter! Happy Lunar New Year as well.
ReplyDeleteMake your move Banxia💪. Else you wait forever
ReplyDelete