Together Forever - Chapter 18

Volume 1, Chapter 18: Silent Advances and Retreats (3)

Her fingers traced the darkened screen of her phone, unconsciously pressing the buttons. Warmed by the electric blanket, the phone felt hot, just like those words, silently burning themselves into her heart.

After a long time, she finally started typing a reply.

But as soon as she typed the word "I," the bed shook. Shen Yao had climbed back onto her bed. "No way, I forgot my electric blanket again. Let's squeeze together tonight?"

Startled, she accidentally sent the half-finished message…

"You can sleep on Xiaoru's bed. She has an electric blanket."

"No, I'm too excited to sleep," Shen Yao burrowed under the covers, wrapping her arms around Tong Yan like an octopus. "Who texted you just now? I think I've seen that line in a movie somewhere. That person is so romantic."

Tong Yan mumbled noncommittally, avoiding the topic.

So, that strange message remained unexplained until the next morning. Shen Yao, facing away from her, was sound asleep. Tong Yan carefully turned over, reached under her pillow, and retrieved her phone.

What's wrong? TK

The time stamp was 1:00 AM.

Tong Yan sighed and typed: Shen Yao interrupted me last night. What I actually wanted to say was…

What *did* she want to say? She didn't know herself.

After a while, she continued: Even though I haven't passed CET-6 yet, I still understand that sentence.

As she sat up to get dressed, her phone vibrated.

"Who is it, so early…" Shen Yao rolled over, instinctively reaching for her phone.

"It's my phone, not yours."

Tong Yan looked at the message as she spoke:

I just got off the school bus. Interested in having breakfast together? TK

He didn't have class today. Why was he at school?

Tong Yan, bundled in a thick down jacket, pondered this as she walked towards the West Cafeteria. She soon spotted Gu Pingsheng standing near the school bus stop, hands in his pockets, reading a newspaper on the bulletin board.

8:00 AM was the start of the first class. Those without classes were mostly still asleep.

The campus was almost deserted at this hour.

As she was about to approach him, a student came to change the newspapers on the bulletin board. The student, unlocking the glass display case, glanced at Gu Pingsheng. Tong Yan, feeling self-conscious, stood at a distance, waiting until the student had finished changing the newspapers in all sixteen display cases.

And Gu Pingsheng, staring at the newspaper in the first display case, hadn't moved.

After the student left, she finally walked up behind him.

It was an article about a medical malpractice case.

Before she could read it carefully, Gu Pingsheng noticed her. "What do you want to eat?"

Tong Yan thought for a moment. "Let's eat at the cafeteria. They have everything." Then she quickly added, "Let's go to the West Cafeteria."

The East and South Cafeterias were near many teaching buildings and were always crowded.

As they walked into the West Cafeteria, many late students hurried past, clutching steamed buns and other breakfast items. Tong Yan looked at the various food stalls, feeling it was inappropriate to have Gu Pingsheng buy his own breakfast. She chose a secluded table by the window and asked, "What do you usually eat, Teacher Gu? I know what's good here, and I can buy it quickly."

He said casually, "Just buy me whatever you're having."

He was relaxed, but Tong Yan wasn't.

There wasn't anything particularly special at the cafeteria, just a wide variety to cater to students from all over the country. In the end, she bought her usual favorites, sweet, savory, healthy, unhealthy…

Gu Pingsheng looked at the assortment of dishes and smiled. "Are we skipping lunch after this?"

She smiled sheepishly. "I just wanted you to try everything."

"I don't like wasting food."

He seemed to sense her discomfort and added softly, "When I was younger, I used to waste food a lot. If I didn't like something, or wasn't in the mood to eat, I wouldn't force myself. Later, after seeing many people who wanted to eat but couldn't afford to, and those who were physically unable to eat, I learned not to waste food."

He wiped his hands with a wet wipe, offered her one, and started eating quietly.

Hearing someone so seemingly morally perfect say these words eased her nervousness.

"Me too," she took a bite of scallion pancake. "When I was in elementary school, I was very spoiled. I had milk and boiled eggs for breakfast every day. Later, when I got sick of them, I would often pour the milk down the toilet when my grandmother wasn't looking."

He feigned a sigh. "Such a waste."

"But," she smiled, "unlike you, I didn't witness anything drastic. I just grew up and became more sensible."

Now, whenever she remembered how she used to scheme to avoid her grandmother and pour away the milk, she felt a pang of guilt.

Gu Pingsheng ate his tofu pudding, spoonful by spoonful.

When she bought it, she had specifically asked for extra dried shrimp. Seeing that he seemed to enjoy it, she felt inexplicably happy.

The sunlight was pleasant, warming her face.

As he looked up, she instinctively averted her gaze, noticing him looking at her from the corner of her eye.

She thought he would quickly look away, but he didn't. So, she held her gaze for a moment, then turned back, pretending not to notice. "Is it good? I've always thought the tofu pudding here is quite authentic."

"It's delicious," he smiled, seeing through her act. "Do you often look at people from the corner of your eye?"

Tong Yan immediately denied it. "No."

But the sudden flush in her cheeks betrayed her.

"When I was very young, I had scopophobia," Gu Pingsheng continued eating, casually making conversation. "I always felt like I was doing something wrong, attracting attention. For a long time, I was very self-conscious, constantly aware of people looking at me from the corner of their eyes. I couldn't focus."

Tong Yan looked at him in surprise. "Scopophobia? Now that you mention it, I think… I had that too when I was young."

Unable to relax, constantly observing the people around her from the corner of her eye.

Gu Pingsheng took out a wet wipe and handed it to her. "Don't worry, many people experience that during adolescence. It's often caused by insecurity, caring too much about what others think."

He said it casually.

Tong Yan took the wipe and carefully cleaned her mouth and hands.

So, he had also been insecure.

But he came from a good family and was so accomplished. He should have been confident and proud. Why would he be insecure? Tong Yan placed the used wipe on her plate and watched as he wiped his hands.

Teacher Gu… Gu Pingsheng, Teacher Gu…

Her face suddenly felt warm. She rested her chin in her hand and looked out the window, a smile playing on her lips, hidden from his view.

After a while, she asked, "Why did you come to school today, Teacher Gu?"

He finished his tofu pudding and picked up a shengjian bun, dipping it in vinegar.

"I was worried something might be wrong, so I came over."

Something wrong?

Tong Yan suddenly felt guilty. "I accidentally fell asleep."

After breakfast, the cafeteria was almost empty. They chatted aimlessly for a while before he finally glanced at his watch and said he had something to do, ending their simple breakfast. They walked together through the long corridor of the cafeteria. "I'm going to the library," she said.

She wanted to walk him to the bus stop but was afraid of being seen by her classmates.

He didn't say much. As she turned to leave, he suddenly seemed to remember something. "Isn't the CET-6 next Saturday?"

Tong Yan turned back. "Yes, I have the CET-6 exam in the afternoon."

He didn't need to ask about it so early. They still had three more Commercial Arbitration classes.

"What time does it end?"

"It starts at 3:00 PM and ends at 5:30 PM."

As she answered, she remembered what day it was. Christmas Eve.

This year's CET exam schedule was truly… inhumane.

"That's past the school bus schedule," he said. "Take a taxi to meet me after the exam. I'll reimburse you, okay?"

She paused, then quickly said, "It's okay, I have money for transportation. And you already…"

"That was just that one time," he smiled. "I wanted to come and pick you up, but the traffic will probably be heavy. It would be very late by the time I got to your campus and back to the city."

Just that one time…

Tong Yan finally nodded. "Okay, I'll text you after the exam."

Was this… their first date?

Tong Yan opened Shen Yao's computer and searched for "scopophobia" on Baidu, carefully reading the various explanations. Suddenly, someone tapped her on the shoulder. "What are you looking at?" Shen Yao glanced at the screen. "Switching to psychology now?"

Startled, Tong Yan turned to Shen Yao. "It's Sunday, why aren't you home?"

Shen Yao's eyes could kill. "Didn't we agree I would meet your dear Cheng Yu next week?"

"Christmas? Isn't that next weekend?"

"I'm too excited! I'm not going home this week!"

…

Tong Yan had thought she was just caught up in the moment and would snap out of it.

But seeing her lovesick expression, she realized Shen Yao was completely serious.

All the nervous anticipation she had been feeling about Gu Pingsheng dissipated, replaced by Shen Yao's excitement. She couldn't resist Shen Yao's pleas and spent the entire day helping her empty her wardrobe, trying on every outfit, mixing and matching…

She offered endless suggestions until her throat was dry.

She poured herself a cup of hot water, holding it in her hands.

Years later, Tong Yan would still remember this day.

Her best friend, inexplicably in love with a voice, shivering in their cold dorm room, trying on different outfits, fantasizing about their first meeting. And she, holding a cup of hot water, breathing in the steam, silently hiding the budding feelings she had just discovered.

Teacher Gu, Gu Pingsheng.

He had started to mean something different to her.

He taught the Commercial Arbitration classes as usual that week.

The annoying thing was, she spent most of the time taking notes, not daring to look up and meet his eyes. She even complained to herself, why had she agreed to meet him so early?

On the day of the exam, she finished half an hour early.

After carefully checking her answer sheet and essay, she handed in her exam, something she had never done before. As soon as she left the exam room and turned on her phone, she was bombarded with messages, all from Shen Yao.

"Oh my god, I was sleeping, and Cheng Yu came to our dorm! Oh my god, he's totally my type!"

"I can't take it, he's so cute when he talks! I'm going to faint!"

"Why aren't you done with your exam yet?"

"Hurry, hurry, I'm waiting for you by Siyuan Lake, near the library."

"Tong Yan… hurry up."

…

She deleted the messages one by one, amused and exasperated, making space in her inbox. The last message, however, made her pause:

"Cheng Yu and I have a big surprise for you."

A surprise? Her and Cheng Yu?

They didn't need to progress *that* fast.

As she walked along the path by the lake towards the library entrance, she saw Shen Yao chatting and laughing with two boys. Cheng Yu, her classmate for three years of high school, was easily recognizable. But the other tall, slender figure made her stop in her tracks.

She had chosen to study in Shanghai, believing that 1,400 kilometers was far enough to escape her parents and Lu Bei.

But how did he end up on her university campus?

She stared at him, as if seeing a ghost.

Because Cheng Yu hadn't explained, Shen Yao had completely mistaken him for Tong Yan's boyfriend and was overly enthusiastic.

Tong Yan couldn't find an opportunity to talk to him and could only deliberately lag behind with Lu Bei when Shen Yao suggested they go downtown. Shen Yao and Cheng Yu, hitting it off, didn't seem to notice. Tong Yan finally found a chance to speak. "Are you… in Shanghai with Fang Yunyun this time?"

Lu Bei, carrying a large paper bag, walked beside her, ignoring her pointed question.

After a long silence, he finally said, "Tong Tong, I've worked very hard this past year. I wanted to tell you during National Day, in Beijing, I changed my academic records. I'm a freshman at the Political Science and Law University this year. Wait for me until I graduate, okay?"

She didn't answer, but she was surprised.

He finally decided to study. But skipping three years of high school, could he even handle university?

Seeing her silence, he handed her the paper bag. "They said it's very cold in Shanghai, no heating indoors. I bought you a down jacket and a cashmere blanket."

She didn't take it.

"Tong Tong," he called her name.

Shen Yao suddenly turned back and grinned. "Are you two fighting? Gifts aren't enough to fix that. Say something nice! I'll take you to Xintiandi for drinks. My treat! Once Tong Yan is drunk, everything will be easier."

It was late December, and the sky had already darkened completely.

The streetlights suddenly came on, illuminating Shen Yao's smiling face and casting long shadows around them. Tong Yan still refused to accept the gift. Just as they were at a stalemate, her phone rang.

She paused, suddenly remembering her agreement with Gu Pingsheng.

She checked the time. It was already 5:40 PM:

Did the exam go well? TK

Author's Note: Updating this week was torture == This website almost killed me.

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